Chapter 100

As they finished up their dessert, AJ realized just how tired he was of feeling in limbo with Emily. Tonight, some decisions had to be made one way or the other because he couldn’t stand another second of it. He was tired of feeling the way he did about her. He never stopped loving her. Sure, he’d felt incredibly frustrated with her, as she had most definitely been with him, but that didn’t stop him from caring. He wasn’t totally sure but he sensed that Emily felt the same way. Thoughts were rushing through his head as he tried to decipher his emotions. They had a lot to talk about and work through. Was it going to be worth it? Was love enough? Didn’t it have to be? It was then and there as he sat and watched as her eyes sparkled across the table in the candlelight that he made up his mind. He needed her. Plain and simple. The problem was, he didn’t know how to approach her and tell her. He was terrified something would go wrong. That she’d tell him no. That she wouldn’t want to talk to him.

“Why the troubled look?” Howie asked him.

AJ sighed. “It’s nothing.” He answered.

Howie smiled. “A whole lot of gorgeous nothing sitting across from you? She must be really special if she’s got you this worked up. I’ve never seen you be so nervous to approach a woman before.”

“What should I do, man?” AJ whispered.

“Why are you asking me? I don’t even have a date!” Howie said.

“Because you’re the Latin Lover!” AJ pleaded.

“So are you!” Howie responded.

“I’m serious, D. What do I do?”

Howie thought for a moment before answering. “Why don’t you just be a gentleman and ask her to dance?”

“You think I should dance with her?”

“Sure. It gives the two of you a chance to be close and you don’t necessarily have to talk to each other. It might be a nice ice breaker.”

AJ nodded. “That just might work.” He took a deep breath, wiped his palms on his pants and stood up.

Emily watched him out of the corner of her eye, wondering where he was going. Her heart started to pound when she realized he was heading right for her. She looked up at him as he stopped right in front of her and held out his hand.

“May I have this dance?” he asked, softly.

Emily nodded and accepted his hand as he led her off to the dance floor.

Kristin elbowed Leighanne and gestured over as AJ led Emily away and they exchanged a hopeful glance.

Emily was surprised she was able to walk. She was sure her legs wouldn’t move but somehow she managed to follow him. The feeling of his warm hand on hers was sending little shocks through her body as she struggled to breathe evenly.

The song was changing as they approached the dance floor. The slow waltz was ending and the music of a tango was coming on.

How fitting. Emily thought. The dance of forbidden love.

Thank God I can dance! AJ thought as he led her onto the floor. He allowed himself to slip into his performance mindset, deciding to go all out for this dance, looking at it as possibly his last chance to win her back.

He took her right hand in his left, placing his right hand firmly upon the middle of her back while he swiftly and strongly pulled her against him. Emily knew it was coming. In fact, she was hoping for it. Proper Tango Form. It was nothing short of sexual. When a man and a woman dance the tango, they might as well be having sex standing up. Pelvises are connected, legs are tangled up between each others’ knees. It’s a hot, sensual dance and it was perfect. As soon as he pulled her against him, she felt it. That same physical connection they’ve always had. Only tonight it was ten times stronger as he led her around the dance floor. Now, normally in a tango you don’t look each other in the eye. The man looks wantingly at the woman, who must act as though she is too good for the man and therefore must not look at him, but over his shoulder. Tonight, Emily could not do that because the only thing she wanted to be looking at was AJ’s eyes. It had been so long since she’d been lost in their depths, and she found that even now they still made her nervous when he looked at her intensely.

Everyone at their table was watching them.

“I told you!” Nick said.

“Don’t jinx it, it’s only one dance.” Kristin said.

“I know but look at them!” Leighanne said. “So much passion!”

“I didn’t know she could dance so well!” Howie admired.

“I personally can’t believe it took them this long.” Brian admitted.

“If they keep dancing like this, they’re going to need to get a room.” Kevin said.

“I’m pretty sure that’s where things went wrong the last time.” Kristin said under her breath, causing Kevin to choke on his drink.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing. Girl talk. Can’t reveal the secrets.” Kristin replied. Kevin rolled his eyes.

Emily had never before been so aware of herself. Feeling herself pressed tightly up against him, feeling his warmth, his strength and his protectiveness was making her senses ultra heightened. She was aware of her every breath, her every move. Her head was swirling from just his touch alone, not to mention his intense gaze as he looked into her eyes.

AJ hadn’t felt drunk since he entered rehab, but tonight he did. Everything about Emily was intoxicating. Her scent, her eyes, her hips, her smile, the way her chest rose and fell as she breathed heavily in his arms. His head was swirling as she gazed deep into his eyes. He chuckled to himself as he thought that if this kept up, he’d need Kevin to send him back to rehab for getting too drunk on Emily.

Unfortunately, the song ended and he was reluctant to let go of her. Emily was brought back down to earth when she felt his hold on her slip. She kept hold of his hand as he walked her back to the table, not knowing what else to do. They still had yet to even speak to each other, although it felt like they’d just been talking for hours. Sometimes body language says more than words ever could.

“Hey Emily! Welcome back!” Kristin said, standing up to greet her. Suddenly, she noticed how pale Emily had become. “Are you ok? You don’t look so good.” She said quietly.

Emily nodded. “I think I just need some air. Excuse me.” She said as she quickly walked towards the terrace doors.

Kristin started after her but AJ held her back.

“I’ll go.” He said, quietly.

Kristin studied his face for a moment before nodding at him. AJ took off after Emily.

As soon as she was outside in a quiet corner of the terrace, she finally worked at catching her breath. She had felt so overwhelmed that she couldn’t breathe and she needed to get out of there.

AJ found her bent over, struggling to catch her breath. He didn’t even hesitate this time as he walked over to her and pulled her in his arms.

Emily wasn’t surprised. She knew he was there, she’d felt his eyes on her.


Chapter 101

“Emily, are you ok?” he asked softly

Emily fell into his arms as he held her tightly, resting his cheek on the top of her head. Her eyes welled up with tears as all the emotions she’d tried to keep a lid on came rushing out.

“Emily, what is it?” he spoke softly.

“Its you.” She choked out.

“Me? Have I done something?” he asked, kicking himself for asking such a stupid question.

“No, it’s not that.” She sniffed. “It’s just you. Here. Holding me. I can’t take it, AJ!”

“Why not, Em?” AJ asked, holding her out so he could look at her face.

“It’s too much….all these feelings….”

AJ took a deep breath. It was now or never.

“Emily…I….I still love you.” He said.

Emily froze.

“You what?” she gasped.

“Love you. I still love you. I always have. I always will.” He said, looking her square in the eye.

Emily couldn’t believe her ears. After all this, here she was, he still loved her. Now it really was too much. Her head was spinning and her vision was becoming dark and fuzzy. She grabbed a hold of his jacket to steady herself.

“Em! Hey Em! Are you ok?” AJ said, looking at her pale face and unfocused eyes. Before he knew what happened, her knees gave out and he grabbed her as she was collapsing to the ground. AJ sat on his knees holding her head in his lap trying to get her to wake up.

Leighanne, who always had been nosy, was watching them through the glass doors when she saw Emily go down.

“Oh my God! Brian, it’s Emily!” Leighanne said, running outside. “What happened?” she asked AJ.

“I don’t know! We were talking and she just…passed out!”

Brian, Kristin and Kevin all came right behind Leighanne.

“Someone get a doctor!” Brian said.

“Wait!” Kristin said. “I think she’s waking up!”

“Emily, baby, wake up sweetie!” AJ said, calmly stroking her face as her eyes fluttered open.

“That’s a girl!” AJ smiled at her. “You kinda had me scared there for a minute!”

Emily was very confused to find she was laying on the ground in her fancy dress with 5 pairs of eyes anxiously staring down at her.

“What happened?” she asked.

“You passed out.” AJ said. “Do you want us to call you a doctor?”

“No.” Emily shook her head. “No, it’s happened before. Usually when I get really stressed out.”

“Are you sure?” Kevin asked. “You don’t look so good.”

Emily nodded. “Really, I’ll be fine in a few minutes. So I really passed out?”

AJ nodded.

“So it was all a dream then.” Emily frowned.

“What was all a dream?” AJ asked.

“You…and me…dancing…talking…you said…..”

“No, it wasn’t a dream, Em. It all happened. We danced, then we came out here and I told you I love you. That’s about when I lost you.”

Leighanne and Kristin grinned at each other.

“Hey guys! You better get in here, Howie’s break-dancing again!” Nick called from the door.

The four went back inside to give AJ and Emily some space.

“Will you help me up?” Emily asked.

“Are you sure? Maybe you should lie here a bit.” AJ said.

“AJ…you of all people should understand that I am wearing a designer gown, my hair is perfect…the last thing I should be doing is lying on the ground!”

“Point taken!” AJ said, helping her to her feet, making sure she was steady before letting go. Even then, he stayed within close distance just in case.

“I’m sorry!” Emily said, embarrassed. “I’ve just been under so much stress lately, with Joe and everything.”

“And me.” AJ admitted.

Emily nodded. “And you.” She took a deep breath. “I’ve been trying for awhile now to forget about my feelings for you. Tonight I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. I…I still love you too.” She admitted.

“So….where do we go from here?” AJ asked, feeling uncertain.

“I don’t know, I was kind of hoping you’d tell me.” Emily admitted.

“I mean…do you want to…can we still….” AJ tried.

“Give it another shot?” Emily finished for him.

AJ nodded.

“I think we have some major talking to do first. There are some things that really need to be worked out.”

“You’re probably right. It just felt so good having you in my arms again.”

“I know what you mean.” Emily said.

There was an awkward silence.

“Is Howie really break-dancing?” she asked.

AJ laughed. “Probably. He’s had an awful lot of champagne.”

Another awkward pause.

“So….” Emily said.

“Look, I know we’re both feeling kind of weird right now. Maybe what we need is just some time together to break the ice.” AJ said. “Maybe we should go inside and have a little fun together. I’ll take you for another spin around the dance floor. We can talk later. Right now, I just want to be with you.”

Emily nodded. “I think that sounds good. Our fan club is probably waiting just inside the door for us anyway, dying to see what happens next.”

Leighanne and Kristin scattered as soon as they saw Emily and AJ walking hand in hand towards the door.

“What do you think?” Kristin whispered.

“I’m not sure. They look…happy….but uneasy. I think they’re headed in the right direction at least.” Leighanne replied.

By now, nearly everyone was on the dance floor showing off their moves, or lack thereof. AJ led Emily around the floor awkwardly for a few songs before Brian and Leighanne cut in on them.

“Come on, AJ! Learn the share!” Brian said as he stole Emily away.

“So…how’s it going?” he asked, once they were away from AJ and Leighanne, who were dancing together on the other side of the room.

“You two tag-teaming again?” Emily asked.

“Not at all.” Brian winked. “I just wanted to take you for a spin around the dance floor!”

Emily laughed. “If you say so.”

“So, really. Are you having a good time?” he asked.

Emily smiled. “I think so.”

“You think so? Don’t you know?”

“I guess maybe I don’t want to get my hopes up, you know? I mean, I didn’t expect it to feel so….weird….to be with him again.”

Brian nodded. “I think you two have a lot to talk about before you can really jump back into things.”

“I know. Right now we’re just trying to have some fun together and try to break the ice. After that, I don’t know what will happen.”

“I think you do know, and that’s what’s scaring you.” Brian said.

Emily thought for a moment. “Yeah, I guess there is some truth in that.”

Meanwhile, Leighanne had planned on grilling AJ about Emily until she saw the look on his face.

“Man, AJ! I haven’t seen you look this nervous since the time we were trapped in a tour bus being swarmed by hundreds of rabid girls trying to get a piece of you! What gives?” she joked, trying to get him to relax.

“I don’t want to mess it up again!” he said quietly.

Leighanne studied his face hard. “If you truly mean that, then you won’t. You’ll do everything you can to make it right and treat that lady the way she deserves.”

“She deserves the world. I’m just not sure I can give it to her.” He admitted.

“Of course you can! All she needs is to be in your arms to feel like she’s on the moon!”

“Do you really think so?” He asked, looking hopeful.

“I know so!”

“When are you guys headed back home?” AJ asked, suddenly.

“Tomorrow, why?”

“Would you mind if I borrowed your nanny for a few days?”

Leighanne grinned. “I think we’ll manage.”


Chapter 102

As the night grew old, AJ and Emily danced many dances together and enjoyed the company of the others when they rested their feet. AJ began to get nervous again as the time to leave drew near. What if she didn’t want to leave with him? What if things went wrong?

Whatever, suck it up McLean!” he scolded himself.

“Em, are you about ready to head out?” he whispered in her ear.

Surprised, she looked up into his eyes and nodded.

“Alright. Let’s go!” he said, leading her to say their goodbyes.

Once they were in the limo, they both realized how nervous they were again.

“Where to, sir?” the driver asked.

“Back to the hotel.” AJ said.

Noticing the surprised look on her face, AJ said, “I just thought maybe it would be more comfortable for us to talk on a more neutral territory than my house. That is…if you wanted to talk tonight….” AJ started, realizing that maybe she wasn’t ready to talk yet.

“No, tonight is fine, really! I just want to get it over with.” Emily smiled.

“You really do look beautiful tonight.” He whispered, reaching over to play with her hair.

“Thanks. You look….normal.” She smiled.

AJ chuckled. “I lost a bet to Howie.”

Emily laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. AJ rested his cheek on top of his head. “You smell good.” He said.

“Don’t I always?” she teased.

“Yeah, it’s just always different. What are you wearing tonight?”

“Sensual Amber.”

“I like it “

“Thanks. I just bought it the other day.” Emily smiled.

“You bought more? You don’t already have enough?”

“Oh, this coming from the man with a whole separate closet for his shoes?” Emily replied.

“Point taken.”

“Thank you.” Emily said.

“But just so you know, you don’t need perfume to make you sensual. You’ve got enough sensuality in those hips of yours to last a lifetime!”

Emily laughed. “Thanks, I guess.”

They didn’t talk much the rest of the ride. AJ helped Emily out of the limo and she led the way up to her room. As soon as she had closed the door behind them, they just stood their and stared at each other. Emily had no idea what to do next, deciding he should be the one to initiate things since she certainly had no idea. AJ was reminded yet again of just how beautiful she was as he watched her. She looked nervous and excited and incredibly sexy. He realized now how much his body had missed her as he felt that familiar sensation start to take over. AJ had something he needed to prove to her and to himself and he suddenly knew that he couldn’t work anything else out until he’d done it.

He walked slowly over to her, backing her up against the wall as he had done so many times before. Emily looked into his eyes, hopeful that he would put his lips on her. She trembled as she felt his hands on her hips and before she could think, his lips came crashing down on hers.

It took her a moment to respond, and when she did, it was completely out of her hands. Her body was doing all the talking despite what her mind was screaming. His tongue forced its way into her mouth striving to taste her even more. She moaned softly as his tongue found hers and gently suckled and swirled around it.

Emily’s head cleared momentarily when his lips went wandering over to that sensitive spot she had behind her ear.

“AJ, what are you doing?” she gasped.

“Taking you to the moon, baby. Is that ok?” he asked, looking into her eyes.

Emily was in a battle of wits. Her mind was telling her not to; that they needed to work things out first. Her body was telling her a whole other thing. She nodded her approval and he went right back to kissing her.

This time, he took his time. He spent so much time kissing her lips that by the time he moved to her neck, she could barely breathe. She forgot all about her concerns and thought only about his lips and his hands on her body and how she wanted more. While his lips worked their way around, his hands began to wander. They started south, gently running them over her back and down to her rear before traveling up and around the front. He was careful not to touch her breasts immediately; he wanted her to want it. And she did. Badly.

“Do you want more?” He asked, huskily.

“Yes….yes I do…please….” She panted.

AJ smiled at her as he reached around and unzipped her dress while Emily helped him out of his tux coat and relieved him of his bowtie. She ran her hands up and down his arms and over his chest, loving how his muscles responded to her touch. AJ reached around and pulled her up against him as he gave her another soft kiss before tugging her dress down.

“Damn you’re beautiful!” he said, admiring her body wearing nothing but a set up black lacy underwear and bra.

“Why thank you!” she said as she began unbuttoning his shirt, painfully slow doing one button at a time, each time opening his shirt to kiss his chest as she worked her way down. AJ groaned softly as she reached his belly button, gently licking around his “69” tattoo with her tongue.

“Is this really what I think it is?” she asked.

“What do you think it is?”

“Well, it looks like a 69 around your belly button.” She replied, giving it another seductive lick.

“You think right.”

“You like kinky stuff, McLean?” she asked, with a seductive gleam in her eye.

“Do you know me at all?”

“Of course. I was just checking.” Emily said, standing back up and kissing his ear lobes. “I just wanted to make sure we’re in agreement.”

“Agreement about what?” he asked.

“Liking it kinky.”

“Oh…so you’re trying to tell me you’re a kinky girl, is that it?” he smiled as he spoke into her ear.

“MmmHmm. But now always. Sometimes I like it nice and sweet, sometimes I like a little of both.”

“And just what kind were you hoping for tonight?” he whispered.

“Whatever kind you’re planning on giving me.” She replied, removing him from the sleeves of his shirt in one fluid motion.

“Sounds good to me. Our first order of business: less talking, more kissing.” He said, before kissing her roughly as he backed her up against the bed.

“Are you sure this is ok?” he asked, searching her eyes for any hint of hesitation.

“AJ, if you don’t, you’ll have hell to pay.” She said.

That was all the permission AJ needed as he gently shoved her back onto the bed and immediately came down on top of her. As he kissed her, Emily’s hands managed to undo his belt and fly of his pants. She had no idea how he did it but before he had kissed his way down to her chest, he had managed to fee himself from his pants.

He kissed her all over, except for the places where she really wanted to be kissed. Her skin felt like it was on fire and her back was permanently arched in hopes of getting more. Finally, he reached around and unhooked her bra, removing it painfully slowly. When he had it all the way off, he paused to stare at her breasts, admiring her beauty. Finally, he allowed his lips to go where she wanted them. He started off kissing her nipple gently, working the other one with his hand, gradually getting rougher with her, making her moan in pleasure with each tug. His kissed his way down to her stomach, just above her underwear.

“AJ…please…I need you to love me…” she begged.

“I do, baby. I promise I’ll show you how much.”

He gently kissed her through her panties making her gasp. It didn’t last long because he had already moved down to her inner thighs as he slowly pulled down her underwear. He came back up to kiss her as he let his hand explore her warmth.

“God, baby! You’re so ready for me.” He said, taking in her dampness.

Emily could only moan in response as he slid in his finger.

“Do you want it?” he whispered into her ear.

“Y…yes….” Emily gasped.

Immediately, AJ freed himself of his boxers and positioned himself over her.

“Emily…I do love you.” He said as he began to enter her.

Another moan from Emily as she began to feel just how “manly” he really was.

AJ kissed her softly. “That’s it baby, take it all in.”

Once he felt Emily relax beneath him, he began to thrust, slowly at first and then picking up speed as Emily’s hips began to move with him.

“God….you’re so tight, you feel so good.” He moaned into her ear.

Emily looked up into his face. His eyes were closed, he was obviously trying very hard not to lose control. Seeing his desires turned Emily on more than she ever could have imagined and she suddenly rolled him over so she was on top of him. AJ looked pleasantly surprised but didn’t argue as she began to ride him. AJ loved the view in front of him, enjoying the way her breasts bounced with every thrust of her hips.

Before Emily knew it, she was about to reach her peak.

“AJ….oh God…AJ….” She said.

“It’s ok baby. Let it go!” AJ assured her.

At the sound of his voice, Emily lost all control as she came, her hips bucking wildly, her moans now full screams.

AJ always had loved a moaner, and as soon as he felt her tighten up around him he lost all sense of control as his body tightened up and he felt his own release deep inside of her.

“Oh my God.” Emily said, collapsing on top of him. “That was incredible.”

AJ kissed the top of her head. “That was only the beginning.” He winked at her.


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"Never Gone" is a work of fiction.
The characters and events portrayed are fictitious.
Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.

Copyright 2006
All Rights Reserved
No part of this text may be copied or reprinted
without the author's permission.

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