Chapter 55

Sunday went all too quickly for Emily's liking. AJ had woken her up early saying he had somewhere he wanted to take her. They took a quick shower together and when they got downstairs there was already a car waiting for them.

“When did you arrange this?” she asked.

“Thursday.” he smiled.

After a short ride through the comparatively light Sunday traffic, Emily found herself in front of St. Patrick's Cathedral.

“I don't believe this! You're taking me to Mass?” she asked, incredulously.

“Well don't act like it's such a miracle. I did go with you last Sunday.”

“Well...yeah...but I thought it was only because I asked you to.”

“It was. But then I ended up enjoying it and I liked that it was important to you and so I thought, you know, why not keep going? And what better church to go to here than this one?”

Emily smiled and gave him a quick kiss. “Thank you.”

The church was absolutely beautiful and Emily couldn't stop looking around as they took their seats. AJ seemed much more relaxed this time, probably for many different reasons.

When Mass had ended and they were filing out with everyone else, she turned to him and said, “Do we get to go to brunch?”

AJ laughed. “Of course!”

After a delicious brunch, they were back at the apartment with only an hour before Emily had to leave for the airport.

“I have a car coming to take you so you don't have to take a cab.” he said.

“You didn't have to do that!”

“Yes I did. I like taking care of you.” he said, softly.

Emily sighed. “I wish I didn't have to go.”

“Me too. But it's important to me for you to keep your own life. That's what you want, right?”

“Yeah....I just...wish it were easier.”

AJ kissed her forehead. “I'll be done in about a month and hey, two weekends from now is Thanksgiving weekend and I'll be home the night before Turkey Day and I'm not going back until Monday morning. And then three weeks after that I'll be home for good.”

Emily nodded. “Well....we still have an hour to kill....any ideas on what we should do?”

“Oh, I suppose I could think of a few things.” he winked.

Emily's flight home was rather uneventful. Saying goodbye to AJ never did get easier and she was still sulking when she got into Leighanne's car.

“How was your weekend?” she asked.

Emily shrugged. “It was great until I had to come home.”

Leighanne smiled. She understood exactly how Emily was feeling at the moment. She managed to ask enough questions to finally get Emily to share what they'd done together.

“Hey, how was your weekend?” Emily asked.

“It was ok I guess. Amanda took Baylee and I went to the spa yesterday and then I went to bed early with a good book.”

“Good! I'm glad you enjoyed yourself a little. How are things with Brian?”

“Honestly, I haven't spoken to him since yesterday morning when I told him I'd be at the spa most of the day. He was out when I came home, I heard him come home around eleven but he never came to bed. He was asleep on the couch when I got up this morning to pick up Baylee and he was gone again when I got back. Then he took Baylee to the park, leaving when I was in the shower this afternoon and they weren't back yet when I left to get you.”

“So he's basically trying his hardest to avoid you?” Emily asked.

“Yeah, it would seem that way.”

“Damn! Maybe he's just trying to take some time to figure things out or something.” Emily tried.

“Maybe. I don't even know what I'd say if we were to talk.”

“Well, you went to him last time so maybe you should wait for him to approach you. Let him know you're available to talk whenever he's ready and leave it at that for awhile. At least he'll know you're willing to talk to him but the ball will be in his court.”

Leighanne nodded, looking like she was about to cry. Emily had never seen her look so unglued before.

“Leighanne, you know you can talk to me, right? I mean you're always so busy taking care of everyone else, don't forget to let someone take care of you every once in awhile.”

“Thanks.” she said, quietly.

“So,” Emily said, deciding to change the subject. “How did Amanda get along with Baylee?”

Leighanne laughed. “I believe she managed ok, of course she had help from Randy. They both looked pretty tired when I picked him up this morning.”

Emily chuckled. She knew exactly what a little ball of energy he could be when he was excited, which he was bound to be if he were to be on a sleepover to his aunt's house.

Leighanne pulled into Emily's driveway.

“Do you want to come in?” Emily offered.

“No thanks.” Leighanne shook her head. “I should get home and make sure Baylee gets his dinner.”

“Alright. Well, give me a call this week, ok? We'll hang out or something.”

“Yeah, alright.”

“And thanks again for the ride!”

Emily let herself in her house, turned off the alarm and greeted her dogs. She got a drink and sat down to call AJ.

“Are you home?” he asked when he picked up.

“Safe and sound.” she said.

“How was your flight?”

“It was fine. AJ...I think I need to talk to you about something.”

He sighed. “This is about Brian and Leighanne, isn't it?”

“Yeah....” she hesitated.

“Alright. Tell me. You've kept this in long enough and clearly whatever it is hasn't gotten any better, am I right?”

“Yeah. Look, I know you didn't want to know and Leighanne didn't want you to know but...I'm really starting to get worried, mostly about Brian.”

“Why, what's he doing?”

Emily explained about Leighanne wanting a baby and Brian's album and the failures to communicate and how now they were barely speaking at all.

“It's just, you know, it isn't like them to act this way. It's not like Brian to be so distant and not deal with a problem head on, you know? I think there's a lot more going on underneath the surface.”

AJ was quiet as he absorbed everything she'd said. “I think you might be right. I'm glad you told me, Em. I didn't think it was anything like that.”

“So what do you think it might be?” she asked.

“Hard to say. I've seen him get in a funk before though. I'll give him a call tonight and try and act like I don't know anything. I don't want him to get mad at Leighanne for spilling her guts.”

“What if he doesn't open up?”

“I have my ways, don't worry.”

AJ called Brian about an hour after he hung up with Emily. His wife had been right. Whatever it was had been going on for longer than was normal for Brian and Leighanne, the poster couple for working things out.

“Hey AJ! How's it going?” Brian greeted.

“Pretty awesome, man! It feels so great to be in the studio again. It's kinda funny, I've actually been getting some pretty good ideas for the next Backstreet album while I'm in there.”

“Wow! I can't wait to hear what you've got! So the album's going well I take it?”

“Man, it's going to be fucking awesome! I can't wait to get the final product together.”

“I've been thinking of doing another album myself.” he admitted.

“Oh yeah?”

“You seem surprised.” Brian commented.

“Well, I don't know, I guess it kind of seemed like you were looking forward to a break.” AJ said, beginning to gently pry into what was eating at Brian.

Brian sighed. “You know, I really thought I was too. But then I got my break and I just....wasn't happy.”

“How so?”

“I don't know, it just felt like something was missing.”

“Maybe you've just forgotten how to take a break.” AJ suggested.

“Like it's been so long since I've had a real one that I don't even know how anymore?”

“Something like that.”

“That's what Leigh said.”

“But you don't agree?”

“I don't know. It isn't that I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something just because I always am. It feels more like I'm not happy and I need do find something to make me happy.”

“Why don't you feel happy?”

“I don't know....Leigh and I are fighting quite a bit and most of the time I don't even know why I'm so mad at her. It's just....God, I hate to say it but I almost can't stand to be around her.”

“So you think that going out and doing another album, maybe even a tour, will get you away from her and whatever else that's driving you nuts and make everything better?”

“Exactly.”

“And how does Leigh feel about that?”

Brian paused. “She's not too happy about it.”

AJ chuckled. “I don't imagine she would be. You've been promising her this break for quite awhile. Listen, I want to give you a small piece of advice you gave me not too long ago.”

“What's that?”

“You remember when you were on my case about not being able to forgive Emily?”

“Yeah....” Brian said, not sure where this was going.

“You told me that I couldn't forgive her until I forgave myself.”

“Yeah but what do I have to forgive?”

“I'm not saying you have to forgive. What I'm saying is that basically what you were telling me is that I couldn't fix my marriage until I fixed myself. And I think that applies to you. Somethings boiling deep down inside of you and until you figure out what it is, nothing you do will make you feel the way you want to.”

AJ could sense Brian sitting at home pondering what he'd just said. Brian never did like it when his own words were used against him.

“I guess maybe there's some truth in that.”

“Just think about it. And go tell your wife you love her.”

Brian sighed as he hung up the phone, wondering when AJ got so wise. And why did everyone keep telling him to go tell his wife he loves her? Was that supposed to fix it? He'd been kind of hoping AJ would agree with him. Tell him if he wanted to do an album to go do it. But AJ had seen right through him.

He wished he knew what was bothering him so much. His life had been on fast forward for so long now that he didn't even know when it had started. He had a feeling that he'd been so busy whenever it had started that he didn't even have time to pay any attention to it. Brian was so perplexed that he began tracing his steps through his career, trying to figure out what might have triggered it. There'd been a lot of milestones. Starting the group, becoming a huge hit, meeting Leighanne, his surgery, Millennium tour, getting married to Leighanne, having Baylee......he stopped. He didn't want to admit it to himself but that acidic feeling deep down inside had started right around the time he married Leighanne. He tried to reason with it. After Millennium things had slowed down considerably for the group. And while Leighanne had always been supportive of his career, once they were married she just seemed to want him to take a step back all the time. And he'd never given that to her. She'd wanted a baby right away, he hadn't. Baylee had been a surprise. He'd never call it an accident because that term implied that he wasn't wanted. Yet still, he hadn't given his wife what she really wanted. His undivided attention to his family. He hadn't noticed it back then because she was much more subtle about it but she'd been after him for years to slow down and suddenly he recognized a big chunk of what he was feeling.

Resentment. He resented Leighanne for expecting him to give up something he loved, something that was a huge part of who he was. And everyone was acting like he was being the jerk for not giving in to her demands. They just told him to go tell her he loved her and sleep on it. But he couldn't go tell her he loved her because dammit, he wasn't even sure if he did or not anymore.

That last revelation had him reeling. He wasn't sure he loved his wife? What kind of man was he? What kind of person was capable of falling out of love with their wife?

Chapter 56

Leighanne woke up Monday morning and realized that Brian never came to bed. He was sitting in his office staring off into space when she went to bed the night before and she'd simply rolled her eyes and wondered when he was going to snap out of this mood. That morning though, she felt like she was ready to try and talk to him.

“Good morning Mommy!” Baylee appeared in her room.

Leighanne smiled at her son as he wiped the sleep from his eyes. “Morning, Sweetie.” she gave him a kiss.

“Mommy, why is Daddy sleeping in the other bedroom?”

That was news to Leighanne, who'd just assumed he'd fallen asleep on the couch or something. The fact that he'd slept in the guest room told her that he intentionally did it as to not sleep in the same bed with her. She'd had no idea he was still so angry with her, she'd just assumed he was being stubborn.

“Oh, you know, Mommy was really tired last night and Daddy probably just didn't want to disturb me when he went to bed later.”

“Oh. Can we have waffles for breakfast?”

“Will frozen waffles work?” Leighanne really didn't feel like cooking.

“Yeah! Can I have some coffee?”

Leighanne laughed. Every day Baylee was trying to do all the things he'd seen adults doing. Apparently today was going to be about coffee. “How about if you just try a sip of mine?”

“Ok!” Baylee took off for the kitchen.

Leighanne threw on her robe. She didn't even feel like getting dressed today. She wished she could call in sick to motherhood.

She popped some waffles into the toaster and made a pot of coffee and sat down with Baylee to eat breakfast.

“Shouldn't we wake up Daddy?” Baylee asked, obviously confused at the disruptions in his routine.

“Daddy's really tired, he needs to rest.”

“Is he sick?” Baylee asked, his eyes full of worry.

“No honey, he's fine. I promise. Everything is fine!” she put on her best smile. “Do you want to try some coffee now?” she asked, desperate to change the subject.

Baylee took a small sip of coffee and promptly spit it back into the mug. “Gross!” he whined. Leighanne laughed, glad that he hadn't liked it so she wouldn't have to keep telling him he couldn't drink it when he saw adults drinking it all day.

“You'll like it when you're all grown up.”

“Like girls?” he asked.

“Yes. Like girls. Right about when you turn 30.”

After breakfast, Baylee went upstairs to play with his trains and Leighanne cleaned up the kitchen. She hadn't heard Brian come downstairs. He walked over and poured himself a cup of coffee without saying anything

Leighanne took a deep breath and decided to break the silence.

“Do you want anything to eat?” she asked.

Brian looked shocked to hear her speaking to him and it took him a second to answer. “No, thanks. I'm not really hungry.”

She studied his face. He was avoiding eye contact with her and he looked like he'd barely slept.

“Look, Brian....I think there's something going on with you and while I know what some of it's about, I don't think this is all about us having another baby. I just want you to know that what ever is going on with you, you can talk to me. We shouldn't be acting this way. So, when you're ready to talk, I'll be there.”

Brian closed his eyes. After his startling realization last night he felt terribly guilty and she was only making it worse by finally acting nice to him. “Yeah....ok.” he said.

Leighanne waited a minute to see if he had anything else to say. “Well, I'm going to go take a bath. You should eat.”

He sat down at the table and stared out the window. He'd tried so hard to figure things out last night but he hadn't gotten anywhere. He couldn't say for sure that he didn't love his wife, he only thought it was a possibility but the fact that he didn't even know was almost worse than knowing. How could he not know? How does a person know they love someone? Do they always feel it when they see them or hear their voice? Do married couples always love each other or does it come and go more often than people ever let on? He didn't feel like AJ and Emily were a good example, what with all the drama that seemed to surround them. Kevin and Kristin had always seemed so in love. He couldn't help but wonder if it was genuine or not.

Brian suddenly felt like he really needed to get away and get his head straightened out. Even if he was questioning his feeling about Leighanne, he did still care about her and he knew that this couldn't go on for her sake as much as his own. He made a few phone calls and then went upstairs to talk to her.

“I need to get away for a few days.” he blurted out when he walked into their room where Leighanne was putting on a pair of earrings.

She froze, her hands still at her ear. “You're going away?”

“Just for a few days. I really need to clear my head and I just can't do it here.”

“You mean you're running away.” she said.

“No, I promise I'm not running away. I'm trying to sort this out, I really am. I just..need some space to do it.”

“Space from me.” she said, saying what he was too afraid to admit.

“Kind of, yeah.”

“What's going on, Brian?” she asked, really starting to worry.

Brian sighed. He didn't want to tell her anything until he knew for sure. “Look, just give me some time to think, ok? I'll be home on Thursday. We'll talk then, I promise.”

Leighanne's heart sank. She had thought he was just mad, she had no idea things had become this serious. “Alright....” she agreed. “Look, you should go talk to Baylee. He's picking up on things and I think he's starting to worry. Don't tell him the truth, make something up and act happy.” she sniffed, looking away from him and putting in her other earring, trying to put on a brave face.

“Leigh....” he said, feeling terrible for hurting her. He could see it all over her face. He knew she had a pretty good idea of what was going on with him, she always seemed to know. Her expression said it all. She was hurt and angry. More hurt than she'd ever been by him.

“Don't.” she said. “I'll be fine.”

“Who was on the phone?” Kristin asked.

“Brian.” Kevin said, sounding surprised.

“What did he want?”

“He's coming to visit.”

“Really? When?”

“Today.” Kevin said, still sounding surprised.

“Today?”

“Yeah.”

“What's going on?”

“I don't know.” Kevin admitted. “But it sounds serious. He said he just really needed to get away for a few days to figure some things out and would it be ok if he stayed here. He said he really needed to talk to me about some things. He'll be here until Thursday.”

Kristin's eyes went wide. “This sounds serious! You don't have any clue what's been going on?”

Kevin shook his head. “No. He didn't say really. All I know is that he and Leighanne have been having some problems. She hasn't said anything to you?”

“Not a word. She probably doesn't want me to worry. Emily said she hasn't even told her sister.”

“Emily knows?”

“I think so.”

Kevin sat down baffled. He'd never known his cousin to act this way, so unsure sounding. He glanced over at his wife, her pregnant belly barely showing and looking more radiant than ever, and he was thankful.

Kristin called Emily about an hour before Brian was supposed to get there. She was worried about Leighanne and when she tried to call, Leighanne hadn't picked up.

“Hey Kristin! How are you?” Emily picked up her cell as she was driving home from work.

“Not bad, you?”

“Well, going home after a busy day to an empty house but I'm pretty good.”

Kristin laughed. “Listen, have you talked to Leigh today?”

“No, why is everything ok?” Emily immediately picked up on the concern in Kristin's voice.

“I don't know. Brian called this morning. He's coming to visit and talk to Kevin. He's supposed to get here in an hour.”

“He's coming today?”

“Yeah. He called this morning.”

Emily was stunned. “Wow.”

“What's going on with them?”

Emily sighed. “I thought I knew, but now I'm thinking there's a lot more to the story than I know and I think that part is coming from Brian. All I know is that they were having a disagreement about him wanting to do another album and her wanting him to stay home for awhile.”

Kristin pondered that. She had certainly had that fight with Kevin a time or two herself but it had never really escalated beyond that. “I think you should call her.”

“I will as soon as I get home.” Emily promised.

“Take care of her, ok?”

“I'll try. I just might have to make her let me.”

Kristin laughed. “If anyone can, it'd probably be you.”

Emily did a quick U-turn and headed for Leighanne's house. While she was at a red light she sent a quick text to AJ.

“Drama alert! Brian going to LA to talk to Kevin TODAY! Going to check on Leighanne.”

Emily rang the doorbell and Leighanne paused when she opened the door.

“Who called you?” she asked.

Emily laughed. “I guess it takes a tag-teamer to know one, huh?”

“Yes. Who called?”

“Kristin. She said Brian was flying there today and she was worried about you.”

“Does she know what's been happening?” Leighanne asked, looking a little embarassed.

“All she knows is that you two had a disagreement over him wanting another album and you wanting him home. I didn't say anything else.”

“Thanks.” Leighanne mumbled.

“Are you going to let me in?”

Leighanne opened the door and stepped aside.

“Emily!” Baylee came running down the hall. “What are you doing here?” he asked, giving her a big hug.

“I came to visit! AJ's in New York and I didn't feel like being lonely tonight. Want to keep me company?”

“Sure!” he said.

“I was thinking maybe we could go out for some burgers, what do you think?” Emily suggested.

“Yeah! I love burgers!” he exclaimed.

“What do you think, Mom?” Emily asked.

Leighanne smiled. She knew Emily had good intentions to help her and that she wasn't going away until Leighanne let her. “Burgers sound great.”

Emily helped Leighanne more than she knew by distracting Baylee during dinner and putting him to bed when they got home. When she came back downstairs, Leighanne was sitting in front of the fireplace with a bottle of wine and two glasses.

Emily sat down and poured them each a glass. “What happened?” she asked.

Leighanne sighed. “I honestly don't know. We've been playing the silent avoidance game and then last night he slept in the guest room. I finally told him this morning I'd be there when he wanted to talk and later he came up and said he needed to get away to think and figure some things out.”

“Well that kind of came out of nowhere.” Emily said.

Leighanne shook her head. “I know Brian. I think he went to California to try and figure out if he still wants to be with me.”

“Oh Leigh, of course he does!” Emily said.

Leighanne shook her head. “You didn't see the way he's been looking at me lately, like he can't stand to be in the same room as me.”

Emily sat back. If Brian and Leighanne couldn't make it, who could? “I suddenly feel like one bottle of wine just isn't going to cut it tonight.”

Leighanne laughed.

“Do you want to talk about it, or do you want to pretend it isn't happening and gossip about other people?” Emily asked, unsure of how to help.

“Gossip.” Leighanne said, wiping her eyes. “Definitely gossip. Got any good dish?”

“Well, actually I did happen to hear something at work today about Randy.”

“What? How?” Leighanne asked, perking up.

“Our receptionist is the sister of the receptionist at his office, remember? And they both love to gossip.”

“Oh that's right! I can't believe I forgot that!”

“So apparently, he put in his schedule for December and it seems he's taking the week between Christmas and New Year's off for a vacation but he absolutely does NOT want Mandy to know about it, it's supposed to be a surprise. But I'm not done yet. He's also taking her to Chicago the day after Thanksgiving to meet his family!”

Leighanne gasped. “This is getting serious!”

“I know!”

“Did you ever meet his family?”

“I never did.” Emily said. “Do you think Amanda is as serious as he is?”

Leighanne thought for a moment. “Deep down inside, I think she is. I just think she's going to have to get past her own insecurities from Steve before she self-destructs this relationship.”

“Maybe we should figure out a way to help her with that.” Emily suggested, knowing Leighanne loved a good puzzle of interference.

They talked for a few hours, coming up with ideas to get Amanda over what Steve did to her. Then they moved on to talking about Thanksgiving and the holidays and their plans for their Christmas villages this year. Emily finally went home around eleven, feeling pretty sure Leighanne was going to fall asleep from all the wine she'd had. She called AJ on her way home.

“I was starting to think you'd forgotten about me!” he said.

“I know, I'm sorry. I've been over with Leighanne all night.”

“How is she?”

“Better now. We didn't talk about Brian, she just wanted to be distracted so I kept Baylee out of her hair until bed time and then we gossiped over a few glasses of wine.”

“So you haven't heard anything on Brian?”

“No, have you?”

“Nope. I figured you'd hear before I did.”

“So how was your day?”

“It was pretty good. It's starting to get pretty chilly in the city.”

“I can't wait to be there at Christmas time. I hope it snows there before you're done!”

“Me too! And if it doesn't, I'll just take you somewhere where there is snow.”

Emily laughed. “I'll hold you to it, you know that right?”

AJ chuckled. “I had a feeling. You've been complaining about Atlanta's lack of snow at Christmas ever since I've know you.”

They talked for about a half an hour before she could tell he was starting to fall asleep and made him hang up.

“I love you.” she said softly, realizing how thankful she was that for once everything between them was perfect.

“I love you too.” he said, knowing exactly what she was feeling.

Chapter 57

Kristin had long since gone to bed and Kevin was looking at Brian expectantly, waiting for him to start talking about the real reason for his sudden visit.

“Brian are you ever going to talk about it or are you just going to chicken out?” he said, finally.

Brian sighed. “Look, I need you to promise not to repeat any of this to Kris. I don't want it getting back to Leigh. If she ever hears about this, it needs to come from me.”

Kevin nodded. “You've got my word.”

“The reason I came out here was because last night, I was up all night thinking, trying to figure things out when all of sudden it hit me.”

“What did?”

He took a deep breath. “That I don't even know if I love my wife anymore.”

Kevin was so stunned it took him a minute to respond. “That's awful sudden, don't you think?”

“I thought so too, so I started looking back on things and I kind of realized that I started burying these feelings of resentment right after we got married.”

“Why then?”

“Leigh wanted a family right away. I wanted to keep riding my fame and fortune. We fought a lot about it but I was so busy I never really had time to deal with any of it. Then Baylee came along, a complete surprise, and I was forced to accept it and Leigh gave up nagging me to be around more and things were going pretty well.”

“So why now has it come back?” Kevin asked, listening carefully to try and help Brian figure this all out.

“As far as I can tell, because now I'm not busy. The tour's over, we're not in the studio, I'm not in the studio...too much down time. And then I realized I wasn't happy with down time. I wasn't happy to have the chance to just be home with my wife and son.”

“Are you sure you're not just having trouble adjusting to the changes?”

“No, this is more than that. It's deeper.”

Kevin took a deep breath. “But there's a difference between resentment and not loving a person.”

Brian thought about that for a moment. “I just can't quite find that line. Right now, we're both in such different places. All she wants is another baby. All I want is a new album. I can't even stand to be in the same room as her, I'm so angry with her for having the nerve to ask me to give up who I am.”

“But she never asked you to do that. She just asked you to pause the career and help her with one of her dreams. I mean that's what marriage is. Compromise. You have to work together, give and take.” Kevin tried to reason.

“But that's exactly the problem. I don't want to compromise with her. I don't want to help her, I don't want to love her, I don't want to talk to her. And I don't know why.”

“Do you feel like maybe she's been so focused on getting what she wants that she's not even concerned with your feelings?”

“Exactly! She said she's spent years waiting on me to be there for her, that she's done. Like I've never done anything for her.”

“Jesus Bri...this is some deep shit here. It just doesn't make any sense that you'd wake up one morning and BOOM, you don't love your wife anymore. I mean even though you had some periods of resentment before, you still loved her. You still had a great relationship, you can't deny that. We've all seen the way you two work together. And all married couples resent each other at one time or another. It isn't all roses.”

Brian nodded. “I know that. And I'm not saying I never loved her. I'm just afraid that something in me has changed. Like I'm not the same man I was before.”

“Have you been depressed or something? Maybe this is just coming from like, a midlife crisis or something.”

“I'm hardly mid-life!” Brian said.

“You know what I mean.”

“I don't know.”

“Well....maybe you should talk to a professional about it.”

“That's why I'm here talking to you!”

“Brian....I'm just a country boy with a good voice, I'm no psychologist.”

“I know, but you've always seemed to know just what you're feeling all the time. You've always been so confident in your relationship. Even when you two weren't together you always said that you knew you'd be together again in the future and so you weren't worried. Did you never really doubt that you loved her?”

Kevin thought for a moment. “There's a hard lesson I learned our first year of marriage. Just because you love your wife doesn't mean you always like her. I have always loved Kristin but there have been times where I haven't liked her, during some of our rough periods. Or the perfect example, AJ and Emily. We all knew that they both loved each other but for awhile, they both hated each other.”

“So, how do you know the difference?”

“Let me ask you this: what would you do if you got a phone call tomorrow and found out Leigh had been in a car accident and died?”

Brian felt his gut clench at the thought.

“There! Right there!” Kevin said, before he could even answer. “I saw it on your face. That sick feeling you get just thinking about it? That's because you love her. Deep down. You're just really messed up in the head right now, man.”

Brian looked at his cousin like he'd just gone nuts. “How do you know?”

“I just do. I can see it all over your face. Don't worry, we'll get you straightened out so you can go home and fix your other problems.”

Brian laughed at his cousin. “Well I'm glad you're sure because I know I'm not.”

“First we start with some rest. Let's go to bed. We'll talk more tomorrow.”

Brian lie awake for awhile thinking about what Kevin had said. The difference between love and like. He was able to see the point, especially when he put it into perspective with Baylee. He loved his son completely but there were times when he really didn't like to be around him, like when he was throwing one of his ultimate tantrums. But that didn't mean he didn't love him. Maybe Kevin was right after all. Maybe he'd panicked when he was trying to understand his feelings and confused himself even more.

By the time he went home on Thursday, Kevin had helped Brian quite a lot. Brian had agreed to stop worrying about loving his wife and just give it some time to blow over and trust that their loving relationship would come back. What he was left to figure out was how to solve the problems of album vs. baby.

Emily felt giddy as she let herself in the apartment Friday afternoon, once again back in New York. She'd spent a lot of time with Leighanne that week and had even been there Wednesday night when Brian called her from LA. He'd said he was sorry for leaving the way he did and that he felt ready to come home and try to deal with things rationally. Leighanne was still baffled at his behavior but was feeling a little more positive with this turnaround and promised Emily to call and let her know how their first round of negotiations went.

Emily was worn out from work and Leighanne duty and decided to watch tv in bed. She dozed off during Maury and was pleasantly woken up at five o'clock when AJ crawled in beside her.

“Hi.” she said, smiling at him as she stretched her arms and legs.

“Hey.” he grinned. “Sleep well?”

Emily laughed. “Yeah.” She rolled to her side and faced him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her.

“Mmm...you're all warm!” he said.

“You weren't kidding about the cold temperatures!” she said. “I've been living down south for too long, my blood's thinned, I can hardly take it!”

“Well, I have an excellent way to keep you warm.” he said.

“Can you take me to dinner first? I'm starving!”

“Hey it isn't my fault you slept through lunch!” he teased.

Emily managed to persuade AJ to get out of bed and get dressed to go out.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“How about Little Italy?” he suggested. “I heard about this really good place.”

“That sounds good to me!” Emily said, her mouth watering at the thought of garlic bread and pasta.

Once at the restaurant, they were seated at a small table by an old, Italian woman who barely spoke English.

“So how has your week been?” she asked.

“Not too shabby I guess. More knitty gritty stuff than just recording which is my least favorite part. But next week promises to be crazy so I can get home Wednesday night for Thanksgiving.”

Emily grinned. “I'm so excited! Oh but that reminds me, have you seen the news lately?”

“No, why?”

“Apparently there's some hurricane out in the Atlantic and Savannah, Georgia is where it's projected path is!” Emily said.

“Really? Wow, that's pretty rare for hurricanes to hit Savannah.”

“I thought it was weird that there'd be a hurricane at all this time of year!”

“Actually, hurricane season goes through the end of November.” AJ informed her.

“Thank you, Mr. Floridian!” she laughed. “So anyway it's all the news people are talking about in Atlanta. Apparently it could still be a tropical storm when it reaches us, which right now they are estimating to be Thursday night or Friday morning.” Emily said, sounding slightly worried.

AJ smiled. “Don't worry about it. It'll probably weaken before it hits land or turn away. Hurricanes aren't all that predictable so far out.”

“Yeah, that's what the weatherman keeps saying.”

“Yup, nothing to loose turkey over!”

Emily laughed. “Speaking of turkey, I was thinking of inviting your mom to our house for Thanksgiving dinner.”

AJ shook his head. “She's going to Spain with her friends for Thanksgiving.”

“Oh.” Emily looked disappointed. “Well, I guess you and I could have a dinner together and just get a small turkey or something.” She hated the thought of not being with a table full of friends and family like she was used to.

“I thought Brian and Leighanne invited us to their house? Did they cancel it or something?”

“No...” Emily said. “It's just.....well, you know....Amanda's going to be there....”

“Yes, I kind of figured she would be.”

“And she'll be bringing Randy with her and I just thought that would be too awkward for you and I'd never ask you to have to go be around him.”

AJ grabbed her hand. “Yes, it will be awkward and I know it'll be just as awkward for you and I appreciate that you're not asking me to go. That being said, I get the impression that this is a serious relationship they've got going on and it's going to happen at some point and we might as well just get it over with. Besides, there'll be enough people there that we probably won't even have to talk to each other.”

Emily was stunned. AJ was actually ok with being in the same room as Randy, the 'doctor guy' he hated? “AJ you don't have to do that.”

“Emily, I know how you feel about holidays. I know how you love tradition and spending it with people you love. I know that as much as you love me you'd be depressed to be stuck at home by ourselves on Thanksgiving. I know I don't have to do this but I want to. For you.”

“Alright but if you change your mind....”

“I won't.” he said.

To be perfectly honest, AJ didn't want to go. He didn't want to see that doctor guy at all but he did realize that it was going to happen eventually and he also felt that it was important that he show Emily that he trusted her and he knew that refusing to go would not be the way to do that. So he decided going was the right thing to do and he just prayed that he would keep the urge to punch him under control.

“Hopefully Leighanne and Brian won't still be having a standoff by then.” Emily said. “He called her and said he's sorry and he's ready to work things out. I just hope they're civil otherwise it could be a very interesting holiday.”