Chapter 124

That weekend, AJ actually had a whole day off from the studio. Emily let him sleep in, wanting him to catch up on his rest. She ate a bowl of cereal earlier on so she wouldn't be starving and around ten, she cooked him a nice breakfast of pancakes, eggs and bacon. She set the table out on the deck and took a cup of coffee to him when she went to wake him up.

“Morning, Sunshine!” she called, opening the large windows to let in the ocean breeze.

AJ groaned as he stretched. “What time is it?”

“A little after ten.” she said, handing him the coffee. “I made breakfast!”

He sat up and gave her a soft kiss, gently rubbing her belly while he did so. “You didn't have to do that!”

“Well it's for me too!” she laughed. “Besides, I kind of miss doing things for you lately.”

AJ threw on some jeans and a t-shirt and followed her outside. “This looks great, thank you.” he said, sitting down.

Emily caught him eying her stomach. “No, you're not crazy. It seems I grew a bunch overnight, doesn't it?”

He grinned. “I thought maybe I just hadn't been paying attention lately or something.”

“They must have switched positions or something. They were pretty active last night.”

AJ was surprised when she was done eating before he was. “You can't possibly be full! You only had two pancakes!”

Emily sighed. “I know. I think the babies are getting so big that they are squishing my stomach and I just don't have much room for food. It just means I'll have to eat more often since I can't eat as much.”

“I'm sorry. I know this has been hard on you.” he said, squeezing her hand.

Emily smiled. “You know, at this point, after everything I've been through, I'm happy to do it if it means I get two healthy babies out of it. Although admittedly I am starting to get very uncomfortable and I know it's only going to get worse. Only about four more months though, can you believe it?”

He shook his head. “It really seems like a few weeks ago that you told me you were pregnant. I feel a little bad that I've been so busy, I feel like I'm missing it all.”

“Yeah, but it'd be worse if you were missing them when they were born, you know? I don't know what we'll do when it comes time to go on tour.”

“I don't even want to think about it yet.” he grimaced. “Between the babies and the week of arguing we've had in the studio....”

“Bad week, huh?”

“We can't seem to agree on the song we've been trying to get down. We didn't even have a name for it until last night. We finally went with “Why Me?” but Nick was pretty pissed that he got outvoted.”

“How are things with Nick?”

AJ scowled. “He won't stop talking about his damn wedding. I am this close to saying something but I decided to wait until after we're done in the studio because I don't think it's going to go over very well.”

“No, I think you're probably right about that!”

Emily waited until he had finished eating before bringing up the subject of his dad. “So have you given any thought to what you're going to do about your dad?”

He sighed and sat back in his chair, looking out at the ocean. It was a hazy day, sure to be another scorcher in the middle of August. Yet he felt cold.

“I feel like I can't think about it.” he admitted. “It's like I try to reason with myself that maybe I should but I feel like I can't let go of all those old feelings. And I get so angry that I just don't want to deal with any of it.”

“Have you talked to your mom about it yet?”

He shook his head “No, I wanted to try and think this through myself. I know what she'll say.”

“Do you want my advice?”

“Please!”

“Talk to him once. After that, you'll know how you feel. You'll either feel like you'd be ok seeing him again or you'll realize you aren't ready. You don't even have to see him, you could just call him at the number he left.”

AJ pondered this for a minute. “That's not a half bad idea. I'll call him, see what he wants and see how it goes. And follow my gut from there.”

Emily nodded. “Exactly.”

He stood up and started clearing the table. “So what do you want to do today?” he called.

“I want to go out!” she said. “I have been stuck in this house for days. Maybe we could find some hip baby store or something. Leighanne has been nagging me to finish our baby registries, she wants to mail all the invitations to my showers next week.”

“How many showers are you having again?”

Emily laughed. “I talked her down to two. One here and one in Atlanta. The one in Atlanta she planned for early November so I hope I'm still able to go! I'd hate to miss my own shower!”

“Well then how about we get dressed and go do some baby shopping and maybe I'll take you out for a nice dinner tonight or something.”

“Ok!” Emily agreed.

AJ and Emily spent almost five hours registering at various stores. They decided on what furniture they wanted and placed the order so that it would be shipped to their house just after they planned on returning. They bought lots of clothes and registered for bibs and blankets and bottles and toys and swings and high chairs and bouncy chairs and jumperoos and anything and everything that looked cute and fun. Emily was exhausted when they came home and AJ sent her to take a nap before dinner.

He sat outside while she rested and picked up his phone and called his mom.

“Hey Ma!” he greeted.

“Alex! How are you? How's LA?”

“Same old. I'm doing good, how are you?”

“Same old here, too. How is Emily doing? Everything going ok?” she asked with concern.

“Everything is going fine. She's being such a trooper, I can tell how tired and uncomfortable she's getting but she hardly ever complains. You won't believe how much bigger she is when you see her next!”

Denise chuckled. “I don't doubt it! Are you taking good care of her?”

“As much as I can. It's hard with this schedule though.” he admitted.

“Well lucky for you, you married a very understanding woman!”

“That I did.” he smiled, thinking how Emily hadn't complained once about his busy schedule recording.

“So what can I do for you?” she asked, knowing he rarely ever called her just to chat.

“Dad was here.” he said.

“Bob came to see you?”

“Yeah.”

“What did he want?”

“I don't know, I wasn't home. Emily said he told her some story about working his steps and wanting to meet with me. He left a phone number.”

“Did you call him?”

“Not yet. I couldn't decide what I wanted to do.”

“And have you?”

“Yeah. I think I'm going to call him, see what he wants, and see how I feel about it.”

Denise sighed.

“Go ahead and say it.” AJ said.

“Just be careful.”

“I will, Mom. I've already learned the hard way what he's capable of.”

“Ok. Well listen, if you want to talk about it more, just call me, ok?”

“I will, thanks Ma.” he said, knowing how hard it was for Denise to talk about her ex and feeling touched that she'd be willing to hear about it.

“Give Emily a big hug for me!”

AJ went inside and was about to take a shower when he heard Emily yelp from the bedroom.

“What is it?” he asked, running in the room.

“Charlie horse!” she gasped as she grabbed at her calf.

AJ sat down and gently rubbed her muscle until he felt it relax. “Is that better?”

Emily nodded. “That...really...hurt!”

“I'm sorry. I used to get those on tour after a show.”

Emily gently stretched her leg. “I had just woken up and I was stretching in bed, you know how you do when you first open your eyes....and that's when it started!”

“My God, Emily! What the hell is wrong with your feet?” AJ asked, staring at her huge, swollen, club feet.

“I know...they're huge. I guess I was just on them too much when we went shopping. Don't worry...the swelling will be gone tomorrow. Or at least most of it will.”

“Maybe we should stay home for dinner.”

“No! I'm hungry. Besides, I don't have to stand for dinner!”

“Alright, I'll make you a deal! If you can find a pair of shoes that will fit, we can go.” he said, with a grin.

Emily reached straight for her flip flops and sighed as she realized that not even flip flops would fit on her huge feet.

“Alright, you win. How about we order some Chinese and you can give me a very long back, foot and leg massage. I guess maybe I'm not capable of as much shopping as I thought I was because my body seems to be pissed off at me for it.”

AJ chuckled. “You've been a real trooper, it's ok to admit every once in awhile that you're uncomfortable, you know.”

“I know.” Emily shrugged. “I guess I've just been cooped up here so much that I didn't realize how hard getting around had gotten!”

They had dinner delivered and ate it on the deck enjoying the cool ocean breeze. When they were done, AJ had Emily lie on her side on a lounge chair and he sat beside her giving her a gentle massage. “Are you falling asleep on me?” he asked, noticing her eyes were closed.

“Not quite.” she mumbled. “But this is great, maybe we should hire a massage therapist to come over every night while I sleep!”

“I've been thinking about Dad.” he admitted.

“Yeah? Did you decide anything yet?”

“I think I'm going to give him a call and do like you said. See what he wants and see how it feels to talk to him. He's given me a lifetime of disappointments, what's one more?”

“I think it's a good idea. At least that way you'll know one way or the other and won't have to wonder what he wants, you know? Do you want to call him now and get it over with?”

“What the hell?” he shrugged. “Where did you put that card?”

“Inside in the desk drawer. Do I have to get up?”

AJ laughed. “No, I'll call him out here. You stay put.”

“Thank God.” Emily muttered. “I might just have to sleep out here because I'm not sure I can get back up.”

“You'll get cold. I'll just wheel the chair inside.” he teased as he went in to get the number.

She held his hand as he sat back down and dialed the number, waiting.

“Uhh, hi is this Bob?”

“Alex, is that you?”

“Yeah, Dad. It's me.”

Emily could tell there was a moment of silence over the phone.

“So....Emily said you'd stopped by the other day while I was out.”

“Oh...yeah. I was hoping to see you. I heard you were back in town.”

“Yeah. Working on another album.”

“Great! How's that going?”

“Oh...you know how it goes...a lot of hard work, long hours.”

“I can imagine.”

“So...how have you been?” AJ asked.

“Same as ever, I guess. Trying to get myself cleaned up.”

“That's good. Hard, isn't it?” AJ tried to sound sympathetic.

“Hard as hell!” Bob agreed. “Most of the time I'm not sure I'm going to make it.”

“I guess that's why the say one day at a time.”

“Yeah.....I guess.” After another awkward pause, Bob said, “Well...thanks for calling. It was great to hear from you. Maybe I'll give you a call again soon.”

“Oh...uh...yeah ok.” AJ said, surprised that he was already hanging up. “I guess I'll just talk to you later then.”

Emily was confused when he hung up the phone.

“What happened?”

AJ shook his head. “He was drunk.”

“How do you know?”

“He was slurring his speech. I guess all that bullshit about working his steps didn't last very long, did it? He didn't even want to talk to me!”

Emily slowly sat up and turned to face him, her heart hurting for him. “I'm sorry.” she said, trying to read his emotions.

“Whatever. I'm not surprised.” he sniffed.

Emily could tell he was barely holding it together. His poor relationship with his father had always been a very sore spot. Usually he was pretty good at bottling all of those emotions but the phone call had forced them all to the surface.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she offered, unsure of what to say. She felt partly responsible for encouraging to call his father in the first place.

“No, I'm ok.” he said, turning away from her. “Do you think you'll be ok if I go for a jog on the beach?”

“I'll be fine, it's you I'm worried about....”

He kissed her cheek. “Don't worry about me. I'm going to go get changed.”

As Emily watched him take off jogging down the beach a few minutes later, she sighed and sat back in the lounge chair. She knew exactly what he was doing. He was trying to “protect” her by keeping it all to himself so as not to upset the fragile, pregnant wife. While she appreciated his concern, he didn't seem to realize that not talking to her was going to cause her to worry even more.

She hated to think it, but every time he was upset, she worried that he would be off to the nearest bar to take a drink. She could handle just about anything but going through that again with him was something she knew she could never handle again.

Chapter 125

Over the next few days, Emily could tell that AJ was withdrawing into himself again. She'd seen worse but it still had her concerned. He pretended to be fine for the rest of his break at home but after he'd been back to the studio for two days, she could tell it had gotten worse. Every time she asked him if he was ok he said something lame like he was just tired. She had been giving him space, but that night, she decided it was time to put her foot down. She'd woken up at three and he wasn't in bed anymore. She heard him talking quietly in the other room and hauled herself out of bed to check on him.

She didn't really want to eavesdrop but she also knew that he wouldn't tell her anything if she didn't figure it out herself. She stood in the dark hall and listened to his conversation on the phone.

“Larry, you gotta help me out, man! Ever since I talked to my dad and all this shit with Nick that's been going down, I've had such a strong urge to take a drink and it's scaring the shit out of me. I haven't felt this way since rehab!”

AJ was quiet for awhile while he listened to Larry, his AA sponsor from back home, talk. Emily decided to give him his privacy and went back to bed to wait for him. She turned the light on and sat up while she waited for him. She knew he'd be back soon because she knew he'd be hoping she wouldn't catch him out of bed and because he knew she got up every two hours to pee, he'd have to get back in bed soon.

He was surprised to see her up when he came back in twenty minutes later.

“What are you doing up?” he asked.

“Just waiting for you to come back to bed.” she said.

“Sorry. I hope I didn't wake you.”

“Nope...bathroom trip. AJ....I overheard part of your phone call just now.” she admitted.

“Oh.” he said, sitting down.

“How long has it been this bad?”

“Just a few days.” he shrugged.

“And why didn't you say anything?” she asked, realizing how irritated with him she was.

“It's not a big deal.”

“Bullshit! I heard you telling Larry you haven't felt this way since rehab. Don't tell me it's not a big deal! Why aren't you talking to me about any of this?”

“Because you have enough to worry about right now!” he snapped.

“Do you honestly think I'm not worried about you? Are you really that dumb? I know you've been upset, I know you've been pulling away from me. And the fact that you won't talk about it makes me worry about you even more you idiot!”

AJ was more than taken aback by Emily's bluntness with him. “I'm sorry. I really thought I was doing what was best.” he tried.

“I'm sure that was part of it, however I also feel like it's just easier for you not to talk about it and so you were more than happy to have an excuse not to.”

AJ hated when she used how well she knew him against him. “I just...felt like I needed some time to digest everything.”

“Look, the bottom line is, the last time you drank, one of our biggest problems was communication. Everything fell apart because we stopped talking to each other. Let's not go back to that.” she said, more gently.

He sighed. “You're right. In fact that's pretty much the same thing Larry said.”

“Good. Now listen, I can sleep all day tomorrow so I don't care how long we have to stay up. I want you to talk to me!”

“Well it's not just my dad.” he admitted. “I was really excited about this album but when we got into the studio...well things just felt a lot different. Like, we're not us anymore.”

“How so?”

He shrugged. “It's hard to point out anything specific, it's mostly just a feeling. The vibe is off or something. I think a lot of it has to do with Nick. Of the four of us, he's been the most distant lately from the group. I hate to say it's all because of Natasha...”

“Or maybe Natasha is a product of this new attitude of his.” Emily suggested.

“Maybe. It just feels like, I don't know, he's a teenager trying to act like a man, you know? He thinks he knows everything and lately it seems like he knows shit. And now he wants to get married? Those two are nowhere near marriage!”

“I know. It's hard to stand back and watch but I really think the best thing to do is let them self destruct. I know I've said this before...but if you say something, he'll get defensive and be more determined to be with her just to prove a point to you. Trust me on this, ok? You can't say anything. Not now.”

“I promise. I know you're right, I just hate it. So anyway things were already funky when my dad showed up. And that just brought back a lot of buried feelings and resentments. I really thought I'd let all of that go but I think the fact that I'm about to become a father has made me think a little more about things.”

“How so?”

“I think it's mostly just...I mean these babies aren't even born yet and already I can't even imagine being willing to leave them behind and not see them again, you know? So it just has me thinking what kind of person could do that and be ok with it?”

“How do you know he's ok with it?”

“Because he never did anything about it.”

“That doesn't mean he's ok with it. Maybe he was just too chicken to fix it.”

“Doesn't make it right.”

“No, I'm not saying that. It's just...when we see people do terrible things it's easy to judge them but the truth is that no one really knows what is going on inside their heads, you know? Especially when we already know he has a drinking problem. You and I both know the kinds of things that makes one do.”

“Why are you defending him?” AJ asked, suddenly angry.

Emily held her hands up. “I'm not defending him. Please don't misunderstand me. I'm just trying to point out that maybe it isn't as black and white as you think it is.”

“Well if you're so smart, why don't you just go ahead and tell me how I should be feeling.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Look, I'm sorry I upset you. All I was trying to say was that just because he walked out on you doesn't mean that he's happy he did it. Maybe he's just such a damaged person that he doesn't even know how to make it right. Or maybe he's so damaged that he doesn't even realize what he's done to you or to himself.”

AJ calmed down a bit. “Look, I know you're probably right, but right now, I just want you to be on my side.”

“I still think he's a rotten, no-good bastard!” she said.

He smiled. “Thanks.”

They talked for about another hour and AJ seemed a little more calm. He'd promised Larry he would make it to a meeting the next day so in the morning he texted their producer and told him he needed to go to a meeting and would be a few hours late. It was no big deal, AJ wasn't supposed to be recording anything until that afternoon and he told them to go ahead without him. Emily was sound asleep when he left and he smiled to himself as he watched her lie there in bed. He was spot on last night...he had no idea how his father had been able to walk out on his mom and him like that. He felt more loving and protective of Emily every day and he absolutely could not wait to get to hold his babies. Was it going to be easy? No, having twins was going to be probably one of the hardest things he's ever had to do. But he was pretty sure he was going to love every minute of being a father.

Two days later, Emily had lunch with Leighanne and Kristin and baby Mason. They sat outside at a little cafe where Leighanne insisted on having Emily prop her feet up on an extra chair.

“I swear, if I find out you and AJ are in cahoots to take care of me, you'll both be in big trouble!”

“Emily, relax! I just remember what it was like to have huge, swollen feet! The heat makes it worse, and then add the fact that you have two babies inside of you! Keep your feet up and enjoy it!”

“Yeah Emily! Enjoy being pampered while it lasts.” Kristin added. “Because once the baby is here, it's like you don't exist anymore. People only want to see the baby.”

“Aww Sweetie I wanted to see you!” Emily said. “Mason is just a bonus.” she said, tickling his foot as he sat in the stroller.

“I know. I guess it's just a little easy to feel ignored.”

“Trust me...once Mason is a toddler and throwing a tantrum people will be glad to have you there.” Leighanne said.

Kristin laughed. “Kevin already makes me take him when he's screaming and he can't figure out why.”

“Men are useless with screaming babies. They don't have that calming instinct that mothers do.”

“I think it's because they like to tackle problems head on without stopping to think about them.” Emily said. “I mean seriously...AJ is still flipping out over Nick and Natasha and I'm having to constantly remind him that he can't say anything to them about it.” Emily admitted.

“Yep...Kristin and I have been hearing all about it too.” Leighanne agreed. “Brian said things haven't been going so well in the studio lately.”

“What's going on?” Kristin asked.

“Beats me. I only just now found out about it last night. AJ has decided I'm too fragile to worry me with the details of his life that he's keeping it all to himself.”

“Don't men understand what that does to us?” Kristin huffed. “Kevin does that crap all the time.”

“What's going on with AJ, anyway? Brian said he missed work to go to an AA meeting the other day.” Leighanne asked Emily.

“Mostly stuff with Nick and stuff to do with his dad. I think it's mostly his dad but he finds it easier to blame Nick for it all.”

“What ever ended up happening with his dad?”

“He called him but his dad suddenly didn't have anything to say to him. It was a very awkward sounding conversation. AJ said he sounded drunk.”

“So much for working his steps!” Kristin said.

“Seriously! So that sent AJ into this funk bringing up all these old feelings. He says he has an even harder time now that he's about to be a father understanding how he could have just left his son like that.”

“AJ is going to be such a great dad. You can tell he's going to have a real soft spot for those babies.” Leighanne smiled.

Emily rubbed her ever growing stomach and smiled as she imagined AJ with a tiny baby in each arm.

“Which reminds me...we're supposed to finish planning your showers!” Leighanne exclaimed. “Kristin did you bring the list?”

“Of course!” Kristin said, producing a shower planning list.

“Ok...so you finished your registry?”

“Yes. And e-mailed you the info to each one the other day.” Emily answered.

“Good. I'll look over them tonight. Kristin and I just picked out the invitations before we came here and they'll send them to the Calligrapher to address them.”

“A calligrapher? Leighanne they don't have to be that fancy, this isn't a wedding!”

“No, but it is LA! Any party here is automatically fancy. Don't worry, your party in Atlanta won't be so big. Now, I made you an appointment at the spa the morning of the shower here so you can get your nails and hair done and a nice massage. Kristin and I will plan the games and we meet with a caterer tomorrow to pick out food and cake.”

“Oh cake!! Finally something I'm interested in!” Emily said.

Kristin laughed. “Don't worry Emily, I promise you you'll enjoy yourself! I had a lot more fun than I expected too. Just think of the piles of presents you're going to get!”

A few hours later, Leighanne had dropped Emily off at home and she had just hung up the phone with AJ letting him know she was home safe and sound (he was such a worrier lately!) when the doorbell rang. She should have been more surprised to see him than she was, but for some reason, she just wasn't that surprised to see Bob McLean standing at her step again.

She put on her not so friendly face and opened the door.

“He's not home.” she said.

“I figured that would be the case.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I knew if I showed up when he was home I'd never get him to read this.” he said, handing Emily a letter addressed to AJ.

“What do you want?”

“I know I screwed up again. But I wanted to explain and I thought you'd be my best chance. Read it yourself and give it to him. I won't bother you again, I'll leave it in his hands.”

Emily scoffed. “The last time you did that, he decided to step up only to have you disappoint him again. What makes you think he's willing to do it one more time? Or for that matter, what makes you think I'm going to let you do this to him again?”

Bob was a little surprised at Emily's reaction. He'd taken her for one of those always friendly types. “I didn't mean to hurt him the other night...”

“But you did.” Emily interrupted. “Look AJ has been through a lot to put himself together and stay that way and I'll be damned if I'm going to let you come in and ruin all that now. So I'll read your letter but I can't promise you that I'll give it to him.”

“That's fine.” Bob said, looking a little hurt. “I understand you're just trying to protect him.”

Emily nodded. “You really should go.”

“Alright. Just read the letter, ok?” Bob said as he turned and walked to his car.

Emily locked the door and took his letter out to the deck. Naturally she would read it and then depending on what it said, she may or may not give it to AJ.

Emily was not at all prepared for what she read.

AJ-

I know you won't want to read this so I'm just going to get to the point in hopes of catching your attention. You have a sister. Her name is Jennifer and she's fifteen years old. Her mother's name is Tina, the woman I've been living with for the past eight years. I don't know why I kept this from you all these years. I guess I figured the last thing you needed was another family mess bringing you down. That and I was probably too drunk to tell you.

I'm sorry about our phone call the other night. I'm sure you figured out that I'd been drinking. And I know you'll never believe me when I tell you that was my one slip up in weeks. Figures that'd be the time you call me. It was mature of you to reach out to me after everything I've put you through and I once again let you down. I'm sorry.

But this isn't about me, it's about your sister. I want you to have a chance to get to know her. I'd love to have dinner with you sometime and tell you all about her and maybe someday soon you'd like to meet her. Please think about giving me a call.

Dad

Chapter 126

Emily tied to take a nap but she couldn't shut off her mind, or her bladder. She didn't understand how a pregnant woman carrying twins was supposed to drink so much water a day and not spend every other minute in the bathroom. It just didn't seem fair.. She knew she had to tell AJ, there was no way she could keep something like that from him. She had no idea how he was going to react.

“How's my lovely wife?” he called as he walked in the door.

Emily gulped and kissed his cheek. “I'm fine...”

“What's wrong?”

“I think you'd better come sit down.”

“Aw shit. That's never good.” he said, following her over to the couch.

“Your father was here again.”

AJ stood up. “I swear I'll get a restraining order against that son-of-a-bitch if he doesn't leave us alone!”

She pulled his hand and made him sit back down. “Just listen please.”

He looked at her expectantly.

“He left you a letter. He told me to read it first and then give it to you.”

“Did you?”

“Yes.” Emily answered, hesitantly.

“What did it say?”

Emily took a moment to spit it out. “You have a sister.”

“WHAT?” AJ shouted, standing up again.

“Calm down.” Emily said, pulling him back down on the couch.

“What do you mean I have a sister?”

“Half sister, to be exact. She's fifteen years old, her name is Jennifer and her mother's name is Tina, the woman he's been living with the past 8 years.”

“I have a sister? And no one ever thought to tell me?”

“I'm so sorry....”

“This is just insane! How do we even know it's true?”

“I don't know. He said this isn't about him, it's about Jennifer. He wants you to get the chance to know her. He said he wants to get together and tell you about her and then maybe you could meet her.”

AJ was silent. His brain was having trouble processing this piece of information.

“Are you alright?” she asked, eventually.

AJ cleared his throat. “Yeah...I'm just....shocked.”

“I'd say shocked is an understatement.”

He nodded.

“Tell me what you're thinking.”

“I just...I don't know, it's weird. Part of me feels mad. And part of me is almost excited to have a sister. But mostly, I'm hurt. Not that it was kept from me, but by the fact that he couldn't stick around and be a father to me but he is to her. Why? What was it about me he couldn't stand?”

“It wasn't you. I mean you have to remember that you were nearly 17 when she was born. I'm sure Bob changed a lot in all those years since he left you. Maybe he knew the hard way how it would feel to miss out on your kid's life.”

“Don't give him that much credit.”

“So...are you going to call him?”

“Do you think he's just using her to get to me? Why couldn't he have just brought her over?”

“I think you might be right but I don't think he's doing it in a bad way. Look, seriously this time, whatever you decide, I'll support. I'm not going to ask you to call him. It's totally your decision. Whatever you think you can handle.”

The next afternoon, Leighanne drove Emily to her visit to the OB.

“Thanks for driving me! It's getting really hard to fit behind the wheel and still reach the pedals!” Emily said as she slowly climbed into Leighanne's car.

Leighanne laughed. “I can imagine! Looks like those babies are growing very well!”

“Tell me about it. It's too bad my bladder isn't growing with them!”

Leighanne cringed as she remembered those uncomfortable moments of her pregnancy and the way you would worry you were going to pee your pants with every sneeze or laugh. “Are you feeling ok though?”

“Yep. I'm trying to stay positive and not focus on all the downsides...”

“But that's getting a little harder to do?” Leighanne finished for her.

“Completely.”

“Well just think about the fact that you have about three months to go!”

“Not that I'm hoping for this but since most twin pregnancies don't make it to 40 weeks it's probably more like two months to go!”

“So long as they don't come too early.” Leighanne said.

“Exactly.”

As Leighanne sat out in the waiting room while Emily went back to see the doctor, she thought about how it was a year ago that she and Brian had been at such odds with each other over wanting a new baby. She had to admit she was feeling a little torn on the matter. Whenever she saw Kristin holding Mason or whenever she thought about how excited Emily and AJ were to meet their babies, she felt a pain in the pit of her stomach and wished it were her. But then, as she watched Emily waddle across the parking lot and dash inside to the bathroom, she thought about how uncomfortable pregnancy could be and suddenly, the pain lessened a little bit.

“I'm all ready!” Emily said as she walked (or waddled) back out.

“Everything good?” Leighanne asked, standing up.

“Looked great. I go back in two weeks and then they're going to start checking for dilation.”

“Want to go to lunch?”

“Of course!” Emily laughed.

The two went for hamburgers and gossiped as they ate.

“So you'll never guess what happened!” Emily said as she filled Leighanne in on the letter from AJ's father.

“Oh. My. God.” Leighanne said, totally shocked.

“I know!! He has a sister! Can you believe it?”

“How is he taking the news?”

“Not great. He's mad that no one ever told him. And he's very hurt that his dad stuck around to raise her but left AJ.”

“That would be a very tough pill to swallow. So, do you think he's going to meet her?”

“I'm really not sure. He didn't want to talk about it much last night. I told him this time I wouldn't butt in, I'd support whatever he wanted.”

“That's probably a good idea.”

“So what about you? Anything interesting happening? How are Amanda and Randy?”

“Well, they just celebrated their one year anniversary!”

“Oh my gosh! Has it been a year already?”

“It sure has! Can you believe it?”

“So what did they do to celebrate?”

“Well...Amanda really thought he was going to propose. But the week before they got into a huge fight and then he didn't propose.”

“Why did she think he was going to?”

“They'd been talking about it I guess.”

“So what was the fight about?”

“Well you know my sister. She got all freaked out at the mention of marriage. All those old demons came back to haunt her...you know, like her trust issues and everything.”

“But I thought she wanted to get married?”

“She does. She really wants to marry Randy. But she can't shake that fear that she's going to get hurt again. She was doing fine until the marriage stuff came up.”

“So is that what they fought about?”

“Mostly. He was really late coming home from work and he didn't call her or text her to let her know and she picked a fight and he saw right through her bullshit and flat out asked her if she wanted to get married. And then when she hesitantly answered yes, he asked her if she still had issues trusting him and she didn't answer him.”

“Oh no! So then he didn't propose because he won't marry someone that doesn't trust him, right?”

“Exactly.” Leighanne said. “And Mandy for some reason can't understand that. And now she's pissed that he doesn't want to marry her because of it. I think she's just trying to piss him off enough to push him away.”

“So what did you tell her?”

“Well, I wasn't very nice about it. I told her she needed to grow the hell up and that I wasn't going to be supportive of her when he leaves her because it will be all her own fault. Then she hung up on me.”

“Leighanne!”

“I know. I just felt like she needed a kick in the ass, you know?”

Emily nodded. “Let's just hope it works.”

“So are you guys going to dinner with everyone later this week?”

“Yeah. AJ doesn't want to, but I'm making him. Mostly because I never get to go out anymore.”

“Why doesn't he want to go?”

“He doesn't want to spend any more time around Nick than he has to, especially if Natasha is going to be there.”

“He's still hung up on that?”

“I'm afraid so.”

“Hey did you know your shower is exactly one month from today?”

“Actually, I did know that! I'm getting excited!”

“It's about time! Are you sure you're still going to be in LA that long?”

Emily nodded. “Yeah. I'm pretty sure we'll be leaving right after that though, I'll only have two weeks left to be able to fly on a plane and I'm sure as hell not making a road trip!”

“Hell no! I can arrange to ship all your gifts home for you if you want.”

“That's be great, thanks!”

Emily took a nap after Leighanne took her home. AJ had been thinking all day at work about his dad. And when they finished early for the day, instead of going home, he headed out to the valley to have a little chat with his dad.

He finally came to the conclusion that as nice as it would have been to have a sister, having her be a part of his life meant having his dad be a part of his life and he knew that where he was right now, he couldn't handle that. He needed to be focusing on Emily and his babies and somewhere in the midst of all that, he also needed to focus on his career. He didn't have any space emotionally to deal with his father. So at least for now, he decided not to meet his sister.

As he drove to Bob McLean's house, he thought about what he was going to say to the man. He really wanted to be nasty. To hurt his father as much as his father had hurt him. But he knew he needed to be the bigger person. So he was going to be honest and direct, yet remain civil.

He parked the car across the street and looked at the tiny, one story house. So this was where he lived. He was about to climb out of the car when he saw the front door open. A teenage girl stepped outside to collect the mail. AJ froze. That had to be her. She had long, brown hair and tan skin. He felt like he'd been punched in the gut. That was his sister.

He sat back in the seat. It had seemed so easy before he had a face to the name. But now, having seen her, AJ suddenly realized he wasn't prepared to shut her out after all. Somehow, he'd have to find a way to deal with his father because now he had a sister and he suddenly realized he wanted her to be in his life. He started the car and drove him. He found Emily asleep on the couch when he walked in. He smiled and took a moment to look at his wife. She was growing more every day it seemed. Every night they lie in bed together and she placed his hands on her stomach so he could feel the baby kicks and punches. He had no idea how she managed to do it, it had to be such a burden on her. Especially being away from her home and having him gone so much.

He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

“Hey!” she said, her eyes slowly opening.

“Hi! How are you? How was your doctor appointment?”

“Everything was fine. I go back in two weeks. They said they'll start doing internal checks then.”

AJ cringed. “That doesn't sound pleasant.”

Emily chuckled. “It's not so bad. They just want to make sure I'm not dilating too much too early. Having twins carries high odds of premature labor, remember?”

“Don't remind me.” AJ muttered.

“But as of now, everything is fine.” she reminded him. “How was your day?”

“Alright.”

“You don't sound so convincing.”

AJ fessed up to his drive out to his father's house.

“Wow. So...what are you going to do now?”

“Well, I guess I'm going to call him.”

“Wow.”

“Why do you sound so surprised?” he asked.

Emily shrugged. “I honestly didn't think this would be the outcome.”

“Me neither. How are the babies? Are they awake?”

“Not right now, sorry.”

“That's ok. Have you had dinner yet?”

“No, I've been asleep since Leigh dropped me off.”

“What can I make for you?”

“I think we have some chicken breasts in the freezer.”

“Coming right up!” he said, kissing her cheek.

He went and turned on the grill and was surprised to come back in and find Emily crying softly on the couch.

“Hey...what's the matter?” he asked, kneeling in front of her.

“I can't get up.” she sniffed.

AJ fought hard not to laugh. “Why is that so terrible?” he asked, helping her sit up.

“It's just...I've been trying so hard to be positive, you know? But lately, I've been feeling so uncomfortable and miserable...it's so hard to sleep and I always have to pee and I have terrible heartburn and my back is absolutely killing me and I can't fit behind the wheel of my car, I can't tie my shoes assuming I can even fit my feet into shoes but I wouldn't know because I can't even see my feet! My stomach is covered in the ugliest stretchmarks you've ever seen, my belly button is sticking out, I can't shave my legs anymore because I can't reach them and I'm starting to get really nervous because the babies could realistically come any day now and we're not at all ready! We have no nursery set up, because we aren't even living on the same side of the country as our house!” she wailed.

AJ wrapped her up in a big hug and gently rubbed her back. “Honey why haven't you said anything sooner?”

“Because...I just...I don't know, I didn't want to be the stereotypical pregnant woman who's always complaining. I just wanted to be strong and happy to have two healthy babies.”

“Sweetie, telling me what's going on with you is not the same as being a complaining pregnant woman! It's ok to admit that you're uncomfortable! It's my job as your husband and as a father to do everything I can to keep you feeling happy and well.”

Emily nodded. “I know. I guess it just all kind of hit me at once, you know? Like I was doing ok and then BOOM! Positive attitude is gone.”

“What can I do?”

“I don't know. I don't think there's much you can do. Maybe a nice back rub tonight?”

“Of course.” he said. “Would you like me to shave your legs for you?” he grinned.

Emily laughed. “Would you seriously want to do that?”

He shrugged. “Why not? Actually I think it's kind of sexy! And I don't want to hear another word about how ugly your stomach is. I know it isn't glamorous or anything but I still think you are absolutely beautiful. You are growing my babies in there, there's no way I could see you as anything but!”

“You're so full of shit, but thanks for trying.” she grinned.

“Well, I really mean it. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. You know, when I'm getting really stressed and miserable in the studio on one of those days where we're all fighting and not getting anything done, I find myself asking why I bother to keep doing this. And then I remember how great it feels when it's done and you hear your fans raving about it and you get to go on tour.”

“What's your point?”

“My point is, you gotta keep your eye on the prize! Try to remember those beautiful babies you'll get to hold in your arms. They are going to make this so worth it!”

“Yep. And then they'll keep you up all night crying.”

AJ sighed. He knew he wasn't going to win this one tonight. He made her dinner and then helped her into a warm bath where he shaved her legs and then gave her a nice, long massage and tucked her into bed.