Chapter 25

AJ spent his Saturday morning in a long session with his counselor. He'd come along way in just a few weeks and he owed a lot of that to Mike, his counselor. He'd gotten him to see the things that AJ couldn't figure out, the things that led him back to drinking. Now, he wanted to talk about Emily. But AJ wasn't thrilled about the question.

Does Emily have any behaviors that you feel might make you want to drink?”

What's that supposed to mean?” AJ shot back.

It means, do you feel that there's a certain way she might sometimes treat you that would make you feel tempted?”

AJ thought about this for a few minutes.

No. Emily's not perfect and she never claims to be, but she's perfect for me. The only time she's ever been critical of me is when I needed my ass kicked anyway. She once told me in marriage counseling that she didn't care if I was a garbage man, as long as I was happy and myself.”

So she's very supportive.” Mike said.

Yeah.”

Do you think that maybe the fact that she's so right for you and supportive and in almost all senses the perfect wife, makes you feel less good about yourself when you're already feeling down?”

She doesn't intentionally make me feel that way.” he said, starting to feel defensive. No one was allowed to talk bad about AJ's wife!

I didn't say it was anything she did, I just asked if it made you feel that way!”

I guess it does sometimes.”

Can you give me an example?”

In general, I was such a dick to her all the time, I was lying to her and she knew it, I was drinking and she suspected it. I was a depressed lazy-ass and sometimes she said things to me but she still tried her very best to be understanding of what I was going through when probably what she really wanted to do was yell and scream at me and kick me in the balls for the way I was acting. But she didn't. And that made me feel like crap every time I realized how badly she wanted to help me because there I was, couldn't have cared less about what was going on with her life. Never asked her about her day, about her new job, nothing. I would realize that she was everything that I wasn't. And that's when I'd start to feel really guilty.”

What about now? Is she still being supportive all the time?”

Well I hardly talk to her but when we do talk once a week, after I ask her how she's been and everything, we talk about things here. What I've been thinking about, working on. And she's always a great listener but she's also being honest with me. She still has her concerns about all of this but rather than baby me and keep them to herself in fear of my feelings getting hurt, she's expressing them.”

What kinds of concerns has she expressed?”

In a nutshell, she told me if I pull this shit again, she won't be there when I get back. Which might not sound supportive but to me it is because if I go around assuming she'll always be there no matter what I do, there's no telling what I'd try to get away with. And she hasn't said it in so many words but I know she's worried about starting a family. See, we were all set to start trying when the tour ended but then I fell apart and we...well actually she...decided to wait.”

Why did she decide to wait?”

She didn't want to use a baby as a band-aid. She didn't want to have a baby when we couldn't even have a single conversation without fighting. She was right.”

And why is she still worried?”

I think she's worried about this happening again. I think she's worried I'll start drinking again only next time, there'll be our kids involved in it and I think she's worried about having to deal with all that. She doesn't want me to screw them up like my dad screwed me up.”

You said your dad was an alcoholic, didn't you?”

Yeah. I mean he's not sober, not by any means. But he's drunk damn near every day of the week.”

What about you? Are you worried you'll screw up your kids like your dad did to you?”

AJ chuckled. “You have no idea how much I worry about that. I don't want my kid to grow up wondering why their dad isn't allowed to come around, why he's too selfish and wrapped up in his own problems to come over or send a birthday card. I don't want them growing up and becoming an alcoholic or a drug-addict and screwing up their kids.”

You want to break the cycle.” Mike said.

Exactly.”

Well AJ, from what I've seen, the ones who are successful at that are the ones who realize the mistakes their parents made but also are able to see when they're making those same mistakes. All these things you're worried about are the things you need to think about every day when you remind yourself that you're not going to drink. You're better than your dad. You'll be a better dad than he was if you keep on this new path you've chosen. The path of sobriety, right?”

Right.”


Emily felt like crap when AJ called her on Sunday. She'd already thrown up three times that morning. She was also terrified to talk to him. It was the first time she'd spoken to him since finding out she was pregnant. She hated having to keep it from him but she knew it should be done in person. She only hoped he came back strong enough to handle that kind of thing without falling off the wagon.

What's wrong?” he asked. “You don't sound too good.”

Oh, I'm just not feeling too well.” she said.

I'm sorry, baby. I wish I could be there to take care of you.”

Well, you'll be here in four more weeks. There'll still be plenty left of me to take care of.”

How long have you been sick?”

Just a few days.”

Well make sure to take it easy, ok? Get better!”

I will. So how about you? Are you all ready to leave for your retreat tomorrow?”

Yeah! Actually we had a meeting about it last night. I got to meet all the guys going...it's only guys, I guess the chicks get their own. Anyway, I didn't know this part but we're doing the first few days on horseback! Then when we get more towards the rocky terrain we have to start hiking it.”

What do you do with the horses?”

They come with us, but it's much easier for them to navigate the terrain without a person riding on them. Then they told us all about the activities. We're going to climb this mountain one day and then repel back down the other side when we all get to the top.”

Be careful! I want you to come home in one piece!”

I promise, I'll be completely safe.”

Ok. Because if anything were to happen to you, I don't know what I'd do with myself!”

God, I miss you!” he said.

I miss you too.” she sniffed. “I can't wait to have you back. To have the real you back. He was gone long before you went to rehab, you know?”

I do know. The real me said to tell you he'll be back to stay for good as soon as I get home.”

Emily laughed. “I love you. Remember that, ok?”

I love you too. And hey, the next time you talk to me, I'll be on my way home!”

So you think you'll be ready to come home after the retreat?”

I do. And Mike, my counselor thinks so too.”

Good. I mean as much as I want you home, I want you to feel ready.”

I promise, I'll make sure I am. I really don't want to screw up again. I just want to get back to my wife so we can get back to our lives together!”

Emily wanted that too but she worried that AJ had no idea the kind of life he was about to return home to.


Chapter 26

It had been nearly three weeks since Emily had talked to AJ. She'd kept herself fairly busy when she felt like doing anything. Working three 12 hours shifts a week was really taking a lot out of her at the moment. She spent her days off resting and thinking. She was also having a hard time concealing her morning sickness at work. Luckily no one really knew that much about her life so even if they did suspect she was pregnant, they wouldn't really think anything suspicious about it.

Those three weeks had given her time to start accepting what was happening and to even begin to feel excited about the fact that she was having a baby. She was still scared as hell to tell AJ everything but she was trying not to think too much about that anymore. She was going to have a baby! Every time she was in a store and walked past a baby section she always had to stop and look. She hadn't kept any of the baby things she'd gotten for Payton except for a few small items that were stored safely in a box. Several times a week she would walk into the bedroom across from hers and picture it turned into a nursery. Despite the fact that she had no idea what AJ would do, puked at least once a day, was constantly tired and cried at the stupidest things, she felt like she was glowing with excitement. She didn't mind that her pants were starting to get a little tight because it was all for the baby. She only hoped that AJ would eventually be able to share in the excitement with her.

Randy had been calling her a few times a week to check on her, making sure she was feeling ok and had everything she needed. She thought it was very sweet and caring that he was so protective and supportive but she couldn't help herself from wishing that it was AJ calling her on her days off to see how she was feeling, that it was AJ who offered to bring her dinner. Because she was extra emotional it was even harder for her to be separated from him and so she started dodging Randy's phone calls. Talking to him was starting to make her feel too crappy. It made her miss AJ, it made her feel guilty and deceitful and it was just easier not to pick up the phone.

Emily never bothered getting dressed on Thursday since she didn't have to go anywhere and she was just about to watch a movie and eat something for dinner when her doorbell rang.

What are you doing here?” she asked.

You've been dodging my phone calls!” Randy answered.

I have not!”

Have to!”

Well maybe I've just been busy!” she said, crossing her arms.

Emily, as adorable as you look right now, no one would be busy looking like that.”

She glared at him and he just laughed at her.

Seriously, what's going on?” he asked.

Emily sighed. “Talking to you was just getting too....hard.”

Why?”

Because it's so sweet that you worry about me and that you're being so caring and supportive and it only makes me miss AJ more because I wish it were him here doing all that stuff.”

Randy winced in the inside.

I'm sorry.” she said. “But you did ask.”

Yes, unfortunately I did. Can I come in?” he asked.

Yeah....it's kind of messy though....”

Randy walked in and laughed at the sight of her living room. There were dirty dishes everywhere and trash from all her takeout food. He peeked into the kitchen and saw that it was in no better condition.

Emily, this place is almost a pig sty!” he teased.

Emily immediately started to cry. “I know!” she wailed.

Randy stifled a laugh and quickly sat down next to her. “What's the matter?”

Emily tried to explain it as she kept crying. “It's just so...messy....and I'm so...emotional....and I'm too tired...and I can't get anything done....and I hate how everything makes me cry!”

Randy gently rubbed her back with his hand while Emily calmed herself down.

I'm sorry.” she said, wiping her face with her hands. “Seriously...I cry at everything, not just you. Yesterday I cried because the sub place forgot to give me my pickle spear and I didn't notice until I got home and I was really looking forward to it.”

Randy laughed. “Well, at least you know you appear to have very good, strong hormones!”

Yeah, I guess so.”

Can I help you clean up?” he offered.

No, you don't have to do that.”

Are you really going to get it all done?”

Maybe.” she shrugged.

Then why can't I help?”

Because you shouldn't be here.” she said.

Why?” Randy looked hurt.

I feel...guilty...like, it's bad enough that I slept with you and I might be carrying your baby but I guess, you know, your being all nice to me and helping me kind of feels wrong, like I shouldn't be doing it because you're not my husband.”

Randy pondered that for a moment. “You know, if it were me, I'd be pissed as hell at the guy who slept with my wife but at the same time, if I was gone and he knew she was pregnant and didn't step up and take care of her while I was gone, I'd hate him even more. AJ loves you. Every time I see that damn wedding photo of yours on the wall I can see it written all over his face. He'll be mad as hell and he'll probably really want to kick my ass, and he'll be hurt and angry with you too but deep down, because he loves you, he'd want to know that I at least took care of you and that it wasn't all about sex. Granted it might take him some time to get to that stage.”

Emily shrugged. “I guess that makes a little bit of sense.”

And at the very least, we're friends. There is nothing wrong with you having a friend come over and keep you company or help you out once in awhile, is there?”

No, but typically I don't have affairs with my friends.”

You can't really call it an affair.” he said. “You thought he left you.”

I know. But he didn't. So it is.”

Randy sighed. “Look I didn't want to have to play this card but you leave me no choice. Either you let me help you or I'll call your friend Leighanne. I still have her number in my cell phone and I'm assuming since you never tell anyone anything that's going on with you, that she doesn't know about all this.”

Emily's jaw dropped. He was playing dirty! “That's not true! She knows I slept with you, so there!”

Randy raised his eyebrows. “Really? Does she know about the baby?”

Emily looked away.

That's what I thought.” he said, taking out his cell phone. “Now, will you let me help you or not?”

Fine.” Emily huffed. “If you're really that desperate to clean my house, you may stay and do so.”

Thank you. Why don't you go upstairs and take a shower and get dressed? It'll make you feel better.” he suggested.

I don't have any clean clothes to wear. I'll do some laundry later.”

Randy took her by the shoulders and steered her towards the stairs. “Come on, let's go get your laundry.”

You know, you're being way too damn bossy.” she said as she walked up the steps.

Emily how long has it been since you've done the laundry?” he exclaimed as he saw the mountain of clothes on her floor.

I don't know, a few weeks maybe? Here, carry this basket down to the laundry room.”

Emily got all her clothes into the laundry room and started sorting them while Randy gathered up all the dirty dishes from around the house. Once Emily had a wash going, she went into the living room and started picking up all the trash. She decided that since Randy was so insistent on helping her clean, he could do the dishes himself. The nerve of him, threatening to call Leighanne! If Leighanne knew about the baby, she'd probably force Emily to move in with them so she could take care of her all the time and that was the last thing Emily needed right now. She emptied the trash can and took the bag to the can in the garage. She folded up the afghan and fluffed all the couch cushions before running the vacuum over the carpets and rugs. She dug out her feather duster and started dusting everything while she heard Randy sweeping the tile in the kitchen. She cringed as she thought of the box of cereal that she'd spilled and only half-heartedly cleaned up the other day.

By the time she was done dusting, she heard the washer beep so she went to change the laundry while Randy managed to find her mop, presumably to clean up the apple juice she spilled this morning. She really had meant to mop that up, she just hadn't gotten to it yet when he came over. She sat down at the table and took a break. Cleaning was hard work! Randy saw her out of the corner of his eye as he scrubbed her floor and smiled to himself. He knew how exhausted she must be if she'd let her house get so messy. It wasn't that it was horrifying but Emily was usually a neat and tidy person. He felt bad for her having to try and take care of everything by herself when he knew she'd been feeling so crummy. When he was done moping, he handed her a piece of paper and a pen.

Make a grocery list.” he said. “You have absolutely no food here!”

I don't grocery shop on Thursdays!” she said.

By the looks of things, you don't grocery shop at all!” he called.

Emily rolled her eyes. She did need some more crackers, so she put saltines at the top of her list and thought about what else she needed.

When Randy was satisfied that her house was back in order he sat down next to her and read over her grocery list.

This is a very random list.” he commented.

I know. But there are a few very random foods that my stomach can tolerate.”

Is there anything else you need?” he asked.

No. That's it.”

Ok. I'm going to run to the store for you while you go take a shower and put on some clean pajamas.”

You really don't have to do that. I can go tomorrow after work.”

I know you can, but I just want to help you, ok?”

Emily conceded. It was rather nice to have someone helping her when she'd spent the last few weeks feeling so tired that sometimes even holding up her toothbrush felt like a chore. She went upstairs and took a quick shower, looking forward to being able to go to bed soon. She sat down in the recliner and flipped through a magazine while she waited for Randy to get back with her food. It didn't take him very long to get back as her list wasn't very demanding. She put everything away and was even nice enough to offer him one of her popsicles as she pulled out a cherry one.

I need to get going.” he said. “I still have some work to do.”

Ok. Thanks for all your help.” she said. “It was nice.”

You're welcome. And stop ignoring my phone calls!”

Ok.”

When does he come home?”

Monday night.” Emily said.

When are you going to tell him?”

I think I'm just going to have to do it then and get it over with.”

Randy nodded.

Well until he gets home to take care of you, call me if you need anything.”

I'll be fine!” she assured him. “Go home and get your work done!”

Ok. Goodnight.” he said as she walked him to the door.


Chapter 27

Friday morning Emily woke up and for the first time in days, she didn't feel sick to her stomach. She only had three days until AJ came home and she kept thinking about how she was going to tell him. She decided she'd have to tell him that she slept with Randy first. If she told him she was pregnant first, he'd be incredibly excited until she burst his bubble with the news that it might not be his, so she decided first to confess about sleeping with Randy and try to explain that she thought he'd left her. Then she'd have to tell him the rest.

Her day at work went fairly smoothly. She got the ok to take Monday off so she could get ready for AJ's arrival from her boss. The clinic was a bit slow for some reason which was a nice break from the usual fast paced environment. Around lunch time, she began to have this strange feeling nagging at her. She didn't know quite what it was, she just felt that something wasn't right. She tried to push it aside, telling herself everything and everyone was fine. It was probably her hormones being strange again. She went home and ate some chicken for dinner, realizing it was actually quite nice to have some food in the house again. She sat at the table with the latest issue of Cosmo while she ate her dinner, enjoying the articles on the male G-spot.

She had just gotten up to get some dessert when the cramping started. It was so minor that she didn't really think anything of it and chalked it up to growing pains in her tummy. But when she went to the bathroom and discovered she was spotting, she began to panic. The cramps had gotten a little stronger by the time her doctor finally called her back. She explained what was happening and he told her to go to the emergency room to be checked out but advised her not to drive herself in case the cramping became too severe.

In her mind, Emily knew what was happening but her heart refused to accept it. She called the cab company but they told her they wouldn't be able to pick her up for an hour. She wanted to call Leighanne but Leighanne didn't even know she was pregnant and Emily didn't really feel up to explaining that right now. She was angry that AJ wasn't there. He'd have kept her calm and taken care of her. She called the one person she knew she'd be able to count on right now.

Hey Emily, what's up?” Randy said when he picked up the phone.

Somethings wrong.” she said in a shaky voice.

What's the matter?” he asked, immediately concerned.

I'm having really bad cramps and I've been spotting a little.”

Randy's heart sunk. “Did you call the doctor?”

He wants me to go to the emergency room but I can't drive there right now and the cab company can't be here for an hour!”

I'll be there as soon as I can.” he said. “Try to stay calm. Go lie down until I get there, ok?”

Ok.” Emily sniffed.

As she lie on the couch, she knew there was a big chance she was losing the baby and she prayed that it wasn't true. Pregnant women did sometimes experience some spotting, she told herself.

Randy left immediately and drove as fast as he could to get to Emily's house, praying he didn't get pulled over on the way. What was normally a twenty minute drive only took him about ten as he sped down her street and into her driveway. Emily got up as she heard him pull in and met him at the front door.

Are you ok?” he asked, helping her to the car.

I'm scared.” she admitted.

It's ok.” he said. “Everything will be alright.”

He helped Emily into his car and quickly climbed in the other side and took off for the hospital. Emily didn't say anything about his speeding, she was anxious to get there herself. He parked at the emergency entrance of St. Mary's hospital and helped her inside, explaining to the triage desk what the problem was. They took her back immediately and got her into a room and had her put on a gown and wait for the doctor.

In Emily's opinion, the doctor took too damn long to come in. The longer it took, the harder she began to squeeze Randy's hand as she grew more and more anxious. To distract herself, she looked around at all the equipment in the room and tried to get Randy to open up all the drawers to see what was in them.

Finally, a young woman walked in and introduced herself as Dr. Montgomery. She asked Emily how far along she was and what her symptoms had been and when they started and how her pregnancy had been so far.

I know you're probably very anxious so I'm going to go get the ultrasound machine right now ok?”

Emily nodded. Dr. Montgomery returned shortly, wheeling the ultrasound cart in with her. She spread the cold gel on Emily's stomach before beginning the ultrasound. Dr. Montgomery knew that Emily was a nurse and so she kept the screen turned away from her, not wanting her to see anything until she knew for sure what was going on.

Emily could feel Randy squeezing her hand back as they anxiously awaited the confirmation of what they both knew had happened.

Emily, I'm very sorry but there isn't a heartbeat.” she said as she turned the screen to face Emily and Randy. There, on the screen, was the tiny little embryo and no heart beat.

But it's still early, maybe it just isn't showing up yet.” Emily said.

Generally by 9 weeks it's visible. I'll give you a pelvic to make double sure, ok?”

Emily nodded. She felt like her head was swimming as she lie back on the bed. She barely even noticed the pelvic exam and barely heard the doctor confirm that she had, in fact, miscarried. She stared at the wall, unresponsive as the doctor gave Randy her care instructions and what to watch out for.

They were both silent as they waited for the nurse to bring in her discharge papers. Randy sat, holding her hand and not knowing what to say.

Emily was full of so many mixed emotions that she couldn't begin to process any of them. So instead, she shut them down. She felt completely numb, like she was in some kind of trance or something.

Randy was also feeling quite conflicted. He hadn't even known for sure if it was his baby and now he never would know but in his heart he'd already grown very attached to the idea and he grieved for the child he never even knew if he would have. On the other hand, part of him felt like maybe it was for the best. He felt terrible for thinking that but the situation was less than ideal for all of them, unless it wasn't his baby after all. And part of him was let down that he'd never know. How could he feel sad to lose a baby that he didn't even know was his or not?

Randy cleared his throat and tried to think of something to say. “Are you alright?” he asked.

Emily's only response was to blink and look over at him. He knew she wasn't alright, he just didn't know what else to say.

I'm so sorry.” he said, reaching out to smooth the hair out of her face.

The nurse came in with her discharge papers and when she left Randy had to help Emily get dressed. She walked slowly out to the car and refused his help getting in. He drove back to her house and not knowing what else to do, he took her upstairs and helped her into bed. She hadn't spoken a word since the doctor had told her she lost her baby. He sat down on the side of her bed.

Do you want to talk?” he asked softly.

Emily shook her head and turned away from him. Randy sighed and got up, turning the light out and closing the door behind him. He went downstairs and sat down in her living room. He wasn't going to leave her alone tonight. At some point, the shock was bound to wear off and he didn't want her to be alone when it did.

Emily lie in bed still unable to process any of the things she was feeling. She knew Randy hadn't left and even though she couldn't talk to him, she was at least comforted in the fact that she wasn't all alone.


Randy checked on her several times throughout the night. She'd finally fallen asleep around three in the morning and he let himself catch some sleep on her sofa. Around nine he heard her get up to use the bathroom and when he went to check on her she'd gotten back in bed. He sat down next to her and grabbed hold of her hand.

I think it would help if you talked about it a little.” he said, gently.

Emily looked up at him, her eyes full of pain. She shook her head. She knew she needed to but she was too scared to open the floodgate of emotions.

How about some breakfast? You should try and eat something.”

I'm not hungry.” she said.

Ok. Maybe later.”

He sat with her for a few minutes, studying her face to try and figure out what she was feeling. When he went back downstairs, he knew what he had to do. Emily wasn't going to be happy about it but he also knew that the longer she went without talking about it the greater her chances were of not dealing with it. He realized that maybe she was trying to keep an emotional distance from him and wouldn't allow herself to open up to him. He took out his cell phone and called Leighanne.

Hi, Leighanne?”

Yes?”

It's Randy Brown.” he said.

Randy!” Leighanne sounded very surprised to hear from him. “What can I do for you?”

Well, it's Emily.” he said.

What's going on?”

I really think she should be the one to tell you but she really needs to talk to someone and she won't talk to me. Do you think you could come over?”

Oh my God, is it AJ? Is he ok?”

No, everyone is ok, it's not that.”

Oh, thank God! OK, I'll be there in twenty minutes.” she said.

Leighanne told Brian she was going over to hang out with Emily. She didn't hint at anything else. She never told Brian about Emily sleeping with Randy. She didn't think he'd be able to understand and she was afraid he'd be mad at Emily and even possibly want to tell AJ. And since Randy was the one who called her, she had a feeling this might be something she'd need to keep Brian from knowing as well.

Randy let her in when she got there. Leighanne immediately noticed that he looked like he'd been up all night.

She's upstairs in bed.” he said.

Is she pregnant?” Leighanne asked, as it was the only thing she could think of that would be going on involving Randy.

Randy sighed. “Not anymore. She lost the baby last night.”

He could tell Leighanne had a million questions but she saved them for Emily. She knew Randy wasn't going to give her any more details, wanting her to hear it from Emily. She immediately went upstairs to Emily's room.

Emily had her back to the door and when she heard it open she just assumed it was Randy again. She was surprised to hear Leighanne's voice.

Emily?”

Emily turned to look at her. She saw Randy hanging back in the door and knew that he must have called her. Leighanne sat down on the bed and Randy pulled the door closed, leaving it open a crack. He leaned against the wall in the hallway. He wanted to make sure that Emily told Leighanne the whole story.

Leighanne knew Emily wasn't going to open up right away so she decided she'd start talking first.

Randy called this morning, he said you needed to talk to someone. He didn't tell me anything until I asked him if you were pregnant. He told me you lost the baby last night.”

Emily's lower lip quivered a bit.

Look, I've never told anyone this except for Brian. When Baylee was two, I had a miscarriage.”

Emily looked surprised.

I know how you're feeling and I'm so sorry you have to go through this.”

Emily slowly sat up.

I spent a lot of time blaming myself, wondering if it was something I'd done. I was angry and sad and confused. I had a hard time grieving for a baby I never even got the chance to know. But it helped to talk about it. You're not alone.” Leighanne said.

Emily was ready to start talking.

I didn't even know who the father was.” she admitted.

Leighanne looked surprised but she didn't say anything. She had assumed it was Randy's.

You know I was with Randy that night, and the next day AJ called and I went out to see him and we were together that night. I spent so much time stressing over what was going to happen. I was going to have to tell AJ and I didn't know how he would react. It's like some kind of cruel joke. Like, I'm being punished for having an affair! I got pregnant and I had to come to terms with the fact that it could possibly destroy my marriage. I thought about not telling Randy but I realized that it wouldn't be fair to him, if it was his baby, he should have gotten the chance to be its father, you know? And I was going to tell AJ everything. I was finally starting to get excited about the fact that I was having a baby and then just like that, it's gone. And it's all my fault!”

No, it's not your fault!” Leighanne said, pulling her in for a hug. “These things just happen. We don't know why but it wasn't anything you did!”

But I spent all that time being so stressed and wishing that it wasn't happening!” Emily said.

That isn't why this is happening.” Leighanne said, firmly. “You didn't do this.”

After hearing that Emily was finally opening up, Randy went back downstairs. He had a feeling she was blaming herself and he was glad that Leighanne seemed to be able to help her a little. He wished he could have been the one to be there for her but he also realized that AJ was going to be back in two days and he had a suspicion Emily might not tell him about any of this. He also knew that once AJ was back he probably wouldn't hear from Emily again and he needed to make sure she had someone to make sure she was ok.

About an hour later, Leighanne came back downstairs.

How is she?” he asked, anxiously.

She'll be ok.” Leighanne assured him. “Thank you for calling me.”

I wanted to make sure she'd be alright. I know I probably won't be able to talk to her once he's back.”

You did the right thing. She doesn't want to tell him about any of this. I tried to talk her out of it but right now she feels it's what she should do.”

Randy nodded.

Are you alright?” she asked him.

I've been better.”

I'm sorry.” she said, giving him a hug. “I know this is probably hard for you too.”

Just make sure she's ok?” he said.

I will, I promise. And for what it's worth, he's really not such a bad guy. He'll take good care of her when he gets back.”

He'd better.” Randy said. “I think I'm going to go home. Will you...maybe just call me later and let me know how she is?”

Leighanne nodded. “I can do that.”

Randy went upstairs to say goodbye to Emily.

I think I'm going to go home.” he said. “I just wanted to tell you goodbye.”

I'm sorry.” she said.

For what?”

For putting you through all this, for losing the baby, for everything.”

Randy gave her a hug. “You have nothing to be sorry for, ok? Listen, I know he'll be back soon but if you ever....you know, want to talk about it...you can always call.”

Emily nodded. “What about you? Will you be ok?”

Randy smiled. “Yeah, I'll manage.”

He gave her another hug and then he left, feeling once again heartbroken. Not only had he lost the baby that might have been his, he'd lost Emily all over again.


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"Realize" is a work of fiction.
The characters and events portrayed are fictitious.
Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental.

Copyright ©2008
All Rights Reserved
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