Chapter 46

Emily had just finished cleaning her tiny apartment when she heard a knock at her door. She was rather surprised to find AJ standing there as she opened it.

“Hi!” she said, sounding startled.

“Hey.” he said, his voice husky.

“What's up?”

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah...of course!” she said, opening the door the rest of the way and stepping aside to let him in. “Is everything ok?” she asked, shutting the door behind them.

As soon as she clicked the door shut, AJ grabbed her and pulled her against him, his lips roughly crashing down on hers as he backed her up against the door. Emily was caught off guard but quick to respond as her body remembered his touch. He tangled his hands in her hair as her arms went around his neck, almost automatically.

Emily was amazed at how fast her body was responding to him as she felt her nipples harden against his hot chest while he crushed himself up against her, his hardness pressing against her hip. His lips trailed down the side of her neck as he scooped her up into his arms and quickly walked to the bedroom, lying her down on the bed. He quickly removed his shirt and climbed on top of her, not even giving her a chance to think, let alone catch her breath.

He kissed her roughly for several minutes leaving Emily breathless and her lips swollen and almost sore as he finally moved from her lips down her neck and along the top of her shirt. This time AJ had no thoughts of Emily being with Randy. His thoughts revolved solely on Emily as he proved to them both that she was his. His hands slid underneath the hem of her shirt and as soon as he touched her hot skin, he knew he needed more. He sat her up and pulled her shirt over her head and sent her bra flying across the room.

Emily loved the feeling of his skin on hers as he lay back on top of her, his hands roughly fondling her nipples as he rolled them between his fingers. His lips wandered all over her sweet skin, stopping to pay special attention every time he hit an area that made her moan. Emily could feel her desire pooling between her legs as she arched into him.

“Do you want me?” he whispered seductively in her ear.

Emily looked up at him and nodded.

He kissed her again, deeply and passionately and slowly kissed straight down her chest until he reached the button of her jeans. He quickly undid them and pulled them down. He smiled up at her as he realized she was wearing a black, lace thong. While he stared at her beautiful body he quickly shed himself of his own pants and lay back on top of her and kissed her again. Even through her thin underwear he could feel how wet she was as he pressed himself against her. Emily moaned as she felt his hard cock between her thighs.

AJ reached down and moved her tiny thong aside and thrust himself into her. Her breath caught in her throat as she took him in, her eyes closing as her face exploded in pleasure. He pulled out and thrust in again twice more before finally giving her what she needed.

Emily had never experienced anything like this before with AJ, and that was saying a lot as they'd done all sorts of things in bed together. All the other times, even if he'd been rough with her, it was always in a gentle way. This time, he wasn't holding anything back. He was taking what he wanted, and what he wanted was her.

AJ opened his eyes and looked down at his wife as her eyes were still closed and her head was turning from side to side, her hands griping at the sheets. He could feel her body trembling beneath him and knew she was nearly there. He bent down and took her nipple in his mouth, licking it with his tongue while it was between his teeth. Emily's whole body tensed up just before he felt her begin to shudder beneath him as her climax took hold.

“That's right baby. You're all mine and no one else's.” he said as he rode her hard through her orgasm and then his own.

AJ collapsed on top of Emily, sweaty and exhausted. After he caught his breath he rolled over beside her and wrapped her up in his arms.

As Emily began to come down from her high, something was bugging her. What AJ had said to her just as she came wasn't sitting right with her. The more she thought about it, the more it bothered her.

“What's with the frown?” he asked.

“What did you mean when you said I'm all yours and no one else's?”

AJ barely even remembered saying that. “I didn't mean anything by it, it was just sex talk.”

Emily shook her head. “No, I don't think so. You've never said anything like that before. What gives?”

AJ sighed. “I guess it means what it means. You're mine. Aren't you?”

“Oh my God! Is that what all this is about? Proving that I'm yours for the keeping?”

“Is that so wrong?” he asked, sitting up.

“Yuh-huh!” Emily said, getting out of bed and throwing a t-shirt on.

“Why?”

“I thought you came here to make love to me. To express your feelings to me. But what you really came here to do was to make sure I knew I was yours? That has nothing to do with love!”

“But you are mine, aren't you?” He really didn't see what was so wrong with it.

“Of course I'm yours but the fact that you felt you needed to prove it to me or to yourself means that there's a part of you that doesn't think I am.”

“Can you blame me?”

Emily felt like she'd been slapped in the face. “Who else's would I be?”

AJ was silent.

“You still don't trust me, do you?” she said quietly.

“It isn't that I don't trust you. I just....I don't know, I can't explain it.”

Emily rolled her eyes at him. “Go home, AJ.” she said, going into the bathroom and slamming the door behind her.

“Em, come on!” he said. “Don't do this.”

She didn't respond. He waited a few minutes and realized she wasn't coming out until she knew he was gone. He put his clothes back on and left.

Emily sat in the bathroom and tried to calm herself down. She was almost too hurt and angry to think and she needed to clear her mind.

She started by taking a long shower to scrub away the scent of AJ. He'd made her feel dirty and used, and not in a good way. She wrapped herself up in her fluffy robe and made herself a cup of tea before she sat down and went over it all in her head.

She had suspected part of his coming over had to do with needing to see if he could sleep with her without picturing her with Randy like he had in Mexico. That was understandable to her but what she didn't get was why he felt he needed to prove to himself that she was his, like if he fucked her brains out she wouldn't step out on him again or something. She knew it wasn't completely about trust it was more about still not completely forgiving her for sleeping with Randy. She decided the first thing on her list for Dr. Murphy would be that she needs him to stop doubting her love for him. If she'd wanted to be with Randy, she'd be with him. Didn't he get that?

For the most part, AJ knew he'd messed up. Emily wasn't really supposed to find out the plan but he'd forgotten that she could practically read him like a book. There was another part of him that, as much as he hated to admit it, felt incredibly satisfied. The sex had been absolutely amazing for both of them, and not once did he even think about another man's hands on her. He was cured. Now all he had to do was get her to not be mad at him. He couldn't help it if a part of him deep down inside was still feeling insecure. Wasn't he entitled to that much? He ultimately decided he'd let her cool down and talk to her again at their appointment on Friday. But first, he called up and sent her two dozen pink and red roses with a card that simply said,

I know you love me.

Emily got the flowers the next morning. She knew the moment she saw the florist at her door they'd be from him and she smiled as she opened them up. She smiled as she read his card. It was sweet, but it wasn't enough. Not yet anyway.

She couldn't deny that the sex had been absolutely mind blowing and she hoped to God they could do it again like that. As much as she was insulted, there was a part of her that got a little turned on by his “taking” of her. Perhaps, once things were better between them, she could ask him to remind her again that she was all his.

Dr. Murphy could tell right away that something had happened between them when they sat down in her office on Friday. She didn't beat around the bush in finding out what was going on.

“What happened guys?” she asked, looking at the both of them.

Emily turned and glared at AJ. He got the message. She was going to force him to explain it.

“AJ?” Dr. Murphy prodded.

AJ cleared his throat. “Well, I was sitting down after we were last here working on my list and I knew there was something I needed worked out but I didn't really think it was something that could be worked out here, in your office.”

“And what was that?”

AJ blushed. “I needed to know that I could have sex with my wife without thinking about her being with another man. And I knew that the only way I could know that was by doing it, not by talking about it. So, I went to her apartment. I guess I just felt this instinct to take her and prove to myself that she was mine, you know?”

“Marking your territory?”

“Exactly.” AJ said.

“So, did you two have sex then?”

“Yeah. We did.” he admitted.

“How did it go?”

“To be honest, it was fucking great!” AJ said. Emily blushed.

“Did you feel the same, Emily?”

“Yeah, I had no complaints up until the end.” she said, looking away.

“So what happened?”

“I said something like, 'You're mine and no one else's.' and she got pretty upset with me about it.”

“Emily what upset you about that?”

Emily took a deep breath. “I thought he'd come over to, you know, make love. Instead, he came over to prove I was his, you know? And when I asked him about it afterwards I asked him if he was worried I might be someone else's and he didn't answer. So I flat out asked him if he really trusted me or not and he said he couldn't explain it.”

“And so what happened next?”

“I told him to go home, and he did.”

Dr. Murphy took a deep breath. She had a lot of faith that AJ and Emily would be able to work this out but the problem seemed to be they were both passionate and insecure, which she'd learned was a very difficult combination to work with. “AJ, do you trust your wife?”

AJ thought very carefully about his response. “For the most part, I do. I know that she loves me and I know that she never meant to cheat on me, it wasn't like that. But there's this part of me deep down inside that feels really insecure about that.”

“You're insecure that she was unknowingly unfaithful?”

“It's more like, how can I know that she isn't going to assume the worst of me every time things get rough?”

“You can't know that, AJ. Just like she can't know you're never going to drink or do drugs again. You just have to take it all on faith and let the past go.”

AJ looked at Emily. “Do you really think that I'm going to start drinking again?” He sounded surprised.

“I don't think it's likely but I can never write it off as a possibility, can I? It's the same as the way you worry about me running off every time things are tough. You've broken that trust already and I'm terrified that it'll happen again but I have to trust you that it won't.”

“Do you trust him of that?” Dr. Murphy asked.

Emily hesitated. “Not completely.” she answered, honestly.

“That's a very normal feeling to have after what you've been through.” Dr. Murphy reassured. “Have you brought your lists I asked you to write?”

AJ and Emily both handed over their respective lists and the doctor glanced over them.

“I think what it comes down to is the two of you need to decide if you can completely trust one another again and put all of this behind you. Bury all of these insecurities and put your faith back in each other completely. So I want you to do something for me. I'm going to give you each other's list. I want you to take it home with you and I want to read it and take an entire week and not see or speak to each other in any way. Take that time to decide if you really can put your faith in each other and in your love for one another. Pick a time and a place to meet when that week is up. If you both show up, these last few months don't exist anymore. It's as if they never happened. You move on completely. If you can't do that, then don't show up. It's a big commitment. If you aren't yet ready to uphold it, don't fake it.”

Emily laughed and AJ gave her a strange look.

“What's so funny?” he asked.

“I'm sorry, it's just...Dr. Murphy, did you take this from the Sex and the City movie?”

Dr. Murphy chuckled. “Emily, marriage counselors have been using this for years, I'm surprised it's taken this long to finally end up in a movie.”

Emily laughed.

“So...can you both agree to that? Remember, if you show up, you're saying you've let it go completely and you trust each other one hundred and ten percent. You may no longer bring any of this up again.”

AJ and Emily both nodded.

“So, where shall your meeting place be?”

They looked at each other and at the same time, the both said, “Paris!”

Dr. Murphy looked surprised. “I was thinking of somewhere more local...”

AJ laughed. “No, the restaurant downtown.”

“Ahhh...ok, that's better. So, are we agreed? If you're moving on, you'll both meet at Paris next Friday, say, noon?”

AJ and Emily both nodded.

“Really think a lot about this. I'm doing this because I feel we could talk this to death and never get it resolved. It's going to have to come from inside you both.” she said as she handed Emily the list AJ had written and AJ the list Emily had written. “And please, one of you call and let me know what happens!” Dr. Murphy said.

AJ and Emily said goodbye, took a long look at each other and left the office on their own, without speaking.

Chapter 47

Emily went straight home and took out the list that AJ had written. She wasn't surprised by any of it and, in fact, it was nearly identical to hers. Dr. Murphy was right. It all boiled down to needing to put their faith back in each other. But could she really let all of that hurt go? Could she really trust that he honestly trusted her and forgave her? She was glad she had a week to decide that because she was sure nowhere near a decision then.

Her cell phone rang around dinner time, pulling her from her thoughts.

“Hey Leighanne, what's up?”

“Amanda and I want to go out tonight, Girls Night Out, and we want you to come with us!”

“Have you been talking to AJ?” Emily asked, suspicious of this sudden invitation to go have some fun.

“No, why? What happened?” Leighanne said, sounding genuinely confused.

“I'll tell you about it later. Where are we going? You have no idea how badly I could use a wild night on the town!”

“Perfect! We're going to this swanky bar and dance club called Club Zero. Wear something cute and slutty!”

“Leighanne, are you already drunk?”

“Not yet but after the week I've had I'm very much looking forward to it!”

“Mandy doesn't have a hot date with Randy? I'm surprised!” Emily said.

“Yeah, me too. I had to guilt her into spending some time with me instead of him!”

Emily really couldn't blame Amanda for that one.

“Alright, why don't you guys come over here at 6 and we can order Chinese and pre-party before we go to the club?” Emily suggested.

“Awesome! We'll see you then!”

The three ladies were re-living their college party days as they drank rum and cokes with their Chinese food. When they were ready to go, they called a cab to Club Zero. Emily was shocked to see a line out front but followed Leighanne up to the door where she flashed an invitation and the three were let right in. They were escorted to a small table in the corner near the bar and were immediately brought the house specialty drink, Zero Regrets, on the house. After a few shots of tequila and their free drink, they were all feeling a bit loosened up.

“So...let's catch up on each other!” Leighanne said. “Emily, you go first. What's up with you and AJ?”

“God, he's such a fucking asshole and I love him so much!” Emily said. She told them about how he'd asked to go to counseling with her and they leaned in close as Emily told them about when he came over to claim her in bed.

“Oh my God, that's so smutty!” Amanda said. “Give us more details!”

Emily normally didn't discuss her sex life with AJ in detail but after tequila you could pretty much get whatever information you wanted out of her, and so she dished.

“That is amazing.” Leighanne said. “I wish Brian would get a little rough every now and then. He's too damn passive!”

“Emily, what's Randy like in bed?” Amanda asked.

Emily and Leighanne both choked on their drinks.

“What do you mean?” Emily asked. “You two haven't slept together yet?”

Amanda shook her head.

“What the hell are you waiting for? Haven't you seen how gorgeous he is?” Leighanne asked.

“Yeah, seriously!” Emily agreed.

“Well, we agreed that we wanted to take this slowly and not jump in too quickly. But now I'm absolutely dying to do it and I know he is too so I think we will very soon....but, you know, is he good? I mean, is he...good?”

Emily laughed and put her arm over Amanda's shoulder. “You won't be disappointed, I can promise you that.”

“Really? I always thought maybe he'd be kind of a prude.” Leighanne said.

“Oh no. He might be private about his affections but he is definitely not a prude. I mean come on, he's a doctor so one, he's good with his hands and two, he knows his anatomy very well if you know what I mean.”

“Damn! Amanda, you seduce that man tomorrow night!” Leighanne ordered.

Amanda nodded. “For sure!”

“So, you and AJ had sex, that's good, right?” Leighanne said, getting back to Emily.

Emily shook her head. “No. Maybe. Who the hell knows?”

“You mean after sex like that you still don't know what's going on?” Amanda asked.

“Our marriage therapist lady told us not to talk for a whole week while we decide if we can leave this all behind us.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah. I guess she's right. The problem between us is that we can't seem to forgive and forget and no matter how much talking we do, it won't do us any good if we can't do that. What sucks is that even though I got pissed at him, I've been so damn horny since then and now I can't even talk to my husband let alone get laid!”

“Tell me about it!” Amanda sympathized. “I haven't had sex in a verrrrry long time!”

“Yeah, you need to get laid. If you weren't drunk I'd send you over there right now.” Emily said.

Amanda laughed. “So....should I seduce him, or should I just let him know I'm willing?”

“I don't know, what do you think Emily?” Leighanne said, signaling their waiter for another round.

“Why are you asking me?”

“Because you dated him!” Leighanne replied.

“Well, yeah, but that doesn't make me an expert. Don't forget I'm the one who probably fucked him all up after I broke his heart repeatedly!”

“Don't worry Emily, he never says anything bad about you.” Amanda tried to reassure her as she spilled a little of her drink on the table. “He doesn't have very many nice things to say about AJ though.”

“No one does right now.” Leighanne added.

“No one likes my husband anymore?”

“Oh we still like him, we just like you better.” Leighanne said. “So, you know, whenever he's being a dick-weed to you, we all want to go kick his tattooed ass.”

Emily laughed. “Believe it or not, he does not have a single tattoo on his ass.”

“Really?” Leighanne looked surprised. “Huh.”

“Anyway, Amanda, it has always been my preference to let the guy do the seducing. Make him work for it!” Emily said.

“I like that plan.” Leighanne agreed.

After four hours of drinking, dancing and girl talk at Club Zero, three very drunk ladies got in a taxi back to Emily's apartment.

“Well one of you can sleep on my couch and I guess the other one of you has to find somewhere else to sleep.” Emily said as she fumbled around for the light switch, trying not to fall down as she walked in the door. “And no puking on the carpet! The toilet isn't that far away!”

Amanda let Leighanne have the couch and Amanda took Emily's extra pillow and afghan and went to sleep on the floor. Emily managed to stumble into her bedroom and got one shoe off before she fell backwards onto her bed and decided to just stay there and pass out.

Emily woke up the next morning cursing the bright sunlight in her eyes. She hated hangovers. They took all the fun out of the party. She looked down at herself wearing only one shoe and laughed, wondering how the hell she'd gone to sleep like that. She took off her shoe and her clothes and put on her pajamas and bath robe before she stumbled into the kitchen to make a big pot of coffee.

“Oh God, it is morning already?” Leighanne asked.

“Unfortunately.” Emily said. “Amanda are you alive down there?”

Amanda groaned.

Emily served up toast with her coffee and after two hours of laying around, Leighanne was finally ready to go home.

“Amanda do you want a ride?”

“No, Randy's coming to get me in half an hour.”

“Oh really! And just what are you two going to do today?”

Amanda laughed. “Well until this hangover goes away, not much of anything! I don't think he'd find it very sexy if I puked in the middle of the great seduction.”

Emily flopped down on her couch once Leighanne was gone and changed the channel on the tv.

“Can I use your shower Emily?”

“Of course! Do you have clean clothes?”

“Yeah, they're in my bag. I always party prepared!” Amanda said.

“There's clean towels in the hall closet, help yourself.” Emily said, leaning her head back and closing her eyes.

Just as Amanda got in the shower, there was a knock on Emily's door.

“You're early!” she said, letting Randy in.

“Sorry. I was running errands and got done sooner than I thought.”

“Grab a seat, Amanda's in the shower. There's coffee in the kitchen if you want some.”

“You look like you had a good time last night.” he teased.

Emily scowled at him. “It was a good time well deserved.”

“I don't doubt it. I hear you have a job working for Dr. Keaton's new clinic.”

“How did you know about that?”

“I bumped into her at a conference the other day.” Randy said, pouring himself a cup of coffee. “Are you excited?”

Emily shrugged. “I guess. Hard to feel excited about much these days.”

“Things aren't any better with AJ?” he asked, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch.

“Well, according to our therapist we have one week to decide. So, I'll know by Friday at noon whether or not we're going to make it.”

“I'm sorry.” he said.

“Thanks.”

After an awkward silence, Emily decided to change the subject. “So how are things going with Amanda?”

Randy smiled. “Really well.”

“I'm really glad for you. She's a lot of fun. She certainly drank me under the table last night. I have a feeling she's not going to be much company for awhile today!”

“That's ok. I know how to nurse a hangover pretty well.” he said.

“Well, you leave the nursing to me, doctor!” Emily joked.

“That was almost a funny joke.” he teased.

“I know. I'm hungover, cut me some slack. Has she met Margie yet?”

“Not yet. I don't think we'll be able to keep it from her much longer though.”

“Things getting a little more serious?” Emily asked.

“I hope so.”

Emily chuckled. “I miss Margie!”

Amanda finally emerged from the bathroom looking much more refreshed than she had before.

“Hey! I didn't know you were here already!” she said.

Randy stood up and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Did you have a good night?” he asked.

“Of course!” Amanda said, winking at Emily.

“I probably don't want to know any details, do I?” he asked.

“Nope.” Emily and Amanda chimed.

“It's Fight Club.” Emily said.

“Yeah, nobody talks about Fight Club.” Amanda finished.

The girls giggled and Amanda got her things together. “I'm ready. Emily, I had a blast. I'll call you this week, ok? I'm sure Leighanne will fill me in on what happens on Friday.”

“Yes, I'm sure she will.” Emily rolled her eyes. “See ya later!” She walked Randy and Amanda to the door, relieved to finally have a quiet house to nurse her headache. She had a lot of thinking to do, but thinking about it only made her head pound harder so she decided to wait at least until the aspirin had kicked in.

Once Emily had her apartment to herself, she could no longer stall in thinking about AJ and her marriage. Dr. Murphy had made it seem so simple. Stay together and forget about everything that happened since the beginning of the summer, or admit that they can't get over it and possibly end their marriage over it. At first glance it seemed like the choice should be simple. She didn't want her marriage to end. She loved AJ and didn't want to be without him. However, how could she just flip a switch and say none of what happened mattered? That all the hurt, all the anger, just disappeared? That wasn't easy. Not at all. And not only was she supposed to let it go, she had to trust that AJ had honestly let it go too and she wasn't sure that she'd be able to believe him. He had been putting forth a lot of effort since he came home from Mexico but she wasn't sure if that was because he was going to forgive her or because he just missed her. It was a lot easier to be civil towards one another when they only spoke every few days.

The fight over the sex had her doubting that he really was capable of letting go of his insecurities and his trust issues with her. She had since been able to understand where he was coming from and his need to test their physical connection but it still bothered her. Part of her was at least relieved that he'd been able to make love to her without thinking of her and Randy, that it didn't disgust him like it had in Mexico. Maybe that was a sign that he was moving on, she really didn't know.

Emily pulled out the list he'd written of the things he needed to be able to move forward with their relationship. Was she capable of not doubting his sobriety? Was she capable of accepting that he was truly sorry for the way he behaved before he went to rehab? Could she accept that he trusted her?

She groaned in frustration as she crumpled up the list and threw it across the room. She was starting to feel that this little experiment wasn't fair. She wasn't allowed to talk to him, so how was it she was supposed to build up her trust in all these things?

Back at their house, AJ was doing the same thing. He was sitting out on their deck, enjoying the remaining leaves on the trees. In his heart, he knew that Emily would always be faithful to him. He accepted that her sleeping with Randy was an unfortunate misunderstanding and that he was partly to blame for it. But that didn't stop him from feeling uneasy about it from time to time. How on earth was a guy supposed to forget about that? How was he supposed to forget that his wife had slept with her ex boyfriend, gotten pregnant without knowing which one of them was the father, and managed to keep it a secret for so long? He had a really hard time feeling that he could trust her not to hide things from him just because she was afraid he wouldn't understand or wouldn't be able to handle it. He didn't want to be treated like he was fragile. He really wanted to talk to Emily, hear her voice, see how she was doing, but every time he reached for the phone he stopped himself. He had committed himself to doing this and he didn't want Emily to think he wasn't taking it seriously. He lit yet another cigarette as he continued to think. He didn't want to be without Emily but he knew that if they couldn't fix this, they would be miserable together and he didn't want that either.

The house was so damn empty without her there and he realized that was only the start of what it would be like to live a life without her. One way or another, he was going to do this. He had to. He just hoped she felt the same way.

Chapter 48

Sunday morning Emily did something she hadn't done in years, not since before she had Payton. She went to Mass. She had been feeling so confused and was at a loss on how to solve this puzzle of faith and decided the one place she might find help on faith was church. She had grown up Catholic and had been quite faithful up until the time she met Joe and let him mess with her head. After Payton she was too ashamed to go back and she knew that was wrong too. She had nothing to be ashamed of. She was a human. Humans were flawed and they made mistakes. There is always forgiveness if you are willing to seek it.

She went to the large church twenty minutes early in hopes of going to confession. She felt quite nervous as she closed the curtain to the confessional booth and knelt down.

“Bless me father, for I have sinned. It has been several years since my last confession.” she admitted.

“And what brings you now?” the priest asked, in a gentle voice.

Emily nearly laughed and wondered just how much time the priest had. She quickly told of her relations with Joe and the birth and death of her child but what she really needed to talk about was her marriage. She didn't give much detail, she just said that there had been a lot of hurt on both sides and she had until Friday to decide if she could let it go.

“Do you want to save your marriage?” he asked.

“I do, I really do, it's just, how can I just let go of all of that hurt and doubt? I have to trust in him and trust that he trusts in me and I don't know how to do that.”

“You're having a crisis of faith.” he stated.

“Yes.”

“Well you've come to the right place.” he said. “Pray very hard and put your faith in the Lord. He will give you the trust and faith you need in your husband.”

The priest talked a little more to her and then he gave her her penance. “I'd like you to meet me here tonight at 8. Can you do that?”

“Yes. I'll be here.” she said.

The priest absolved her of her sins and Emily went and found a seat for Mass. She felt much better as she left the church. She felt full of hope and knew that by the end of the week she would find a way.

AJ didn't go see a priest, but he did go talk to someone he considered to be nearly as spiritual.

“AJ! What are you doing on my doorstep so early?” Brian asked as he answered the door with a cup of coffee in his hand. It was 7:30 in the morning and AJ was badly needed to talk to someone.

“Bro, I really need to talk.” he admitted. “Do you have some time?”

“Sure. Come on in. Want some coffee? It's fresh.”

“That'd be great, thanks.” AJ said.

“So what's going on?” Brian asked as they sat down on the couch in his office.

“Have you heard about our final marriage counseling exercise?”

“Yeah, Leigh told me something about it. You have until Friday to decide?”

“Right. I have until Friday at noon to figure out a way to forget everything that's happened. If I show up to meet her, it has to be under the condition that I have let it go, forgiven everything and it will never come up again. I have to trust her one hundred and ten percent. Otherwise, we may not make it.”

“So what's the problem?”

“As much as I want to let go of everything, how can I just say none of it matters?”

Brian thought for a minute. “That is tough. Let me see if I can simplify it for you. Now I don't mean this in a bad way, but is it fair to say that most of what happened is a result of your drinking? Even if indirectly?”

AJ thought for a moment. “Yeah. It is. I mean if I hadn't started drinking, I never would have gone to rehab, she never would have thought I left her therefore never would have gone to Randy and if she had gotten pregnant, it would have been mine and she probably wouldn't have kept it a secret.”

“Exactly. Now, do you plan on drinking again?”

“Hell no!”

“Good. Do you know that Emily loves you, not Randy?”

“Yeah....”

“You don't sound too sure on that one.”

“I don't know, Bri. He was the person she let put her back together, you know?”

“Did you know he's dating Amanda?”

“Yeah, Emily told me. I was pretty surprised.”

“Well when Emily was staying here, Randy and Amanda came over for dinner one night and Emily hid up in her room. She thought they'd gone but really Leigh and Mandy went to a party and Randy stayed here to watch the game with me. So Emily came downstairs and they bumped into each other. I stayed in the room, they talked for maybe five minutes and then Emily high tailed it out of there. From what I could tell, they are good friends. They care about what happens to each other, they want each other to be happy but I don't think she's harboring feelings for him, and, after the way I've seen him drooling over my sister-in-law, I'm pretty sure he's over her too.”

“How can you be sure of that?”

“I just am. You'll have to take my word.”

“Well, your word means a lot to me.” AJ said.

“Good. Alright. So, they way I look at it is if you trust in yourself that you aren't going to screw up royally like you did this summer, you can trust Emily and let all of this go. It was all circumstantial. A bad chain of events.”

“That's a lot of pressure on me not to fuck it up again.”

“All you have to do is keep the faith in yourself.”

“Do you have any faith left in me?” AJ asked.

Brian nodded. “I certainly do. I've seen how hard you've been trying to make this right. I know you can do it. The first time you went to rehab I had my doubts. This time, I have none. There's just this change in you since you've been back. It's in the way you hold yourself, the way you speak. You're finally confident that you've kicked this problem in the ass and we can all see that.”

“Thanks, man.” AJ smiled. It felt good to know that others could see the changes he felt.

“So, did that help any?”

“It did. I mean I knew I was the cause of a lot of it, I just never really looked at it that way.”

“So, do you think she'll show up on Friday?”

“God I certainly hope so. Do you?”

“Yeah, I do. Emily knows she can't live without you, she's probably just having the same problems you are.”

“Yeah only hers may be a little more difficult. I think it's easier for me to trust myself not to drink because I know deep down inside I'm done with that shit. She can't know that. She has to trust me.”

“She'll find a way.”

“How can you be so sure of everything?” AJ asked, astounded at Brian's confidence.

“I know you two are made for each other. You just don't give up on that kind of love.”

AJ laughed. “Jesus man, you're turning soft on me!”

Brian convinced AJ to stay for breakfast. They talked about his album and how he was supposed to head to New York in a week and a half for recording. Baylee told some very entertaining stories about his adventures at Preschool and Leighanne still looked hungover.

“Feeling ok, Leigh?” AJ asked as he helped her clear the table.

Leighanne laughed. “I can't believe I'm still hungover. Amanda and I went out with Emily Friday night to Club Zero.”

“Must have been a wild night!” AJ said, rather shocked that Leighanne had let loose that much.

“Absolutely. Just what we all needed I think.”

“Did Emily say anything about Friday?”

Leighanne looked up at him. “Sorry AJ. It's Fight Club.”

“What?” AJ asked, looking at her like she'd gone crazy.

“Nobody talks about Fight Club.” Brian said, walking into the kitchen. “She wouldn't tell me anything either.”

The evening Emily met the priest in the front of the church a few minutes before eight.

“So what am I here for?” she asked.

“Come on inside and see for yourself!” he said.

Emily followed the priest inside and downstairs into a small meeting room. She read the sign on the door and was feeling rather confused.

Catholic Widows Support Group

The priest motioned for her to sit in the back row. Emily listened to a few stories about how the women had lost their husbands, the loves of their lives. She listened about how they struggled to pick up and move on without them, learning how to live alone, how to handle their grief. She felt terrible for these women. Some were young, raising kids by themselves. Many were older. There were so many stories of sickness, tragedy, accidents, suffering. They talked a lot about how lonely they felt in a world without the person they loved. Emily couldn't even imagine the pain they must have been through. If something were to ever happen to AJ, she didn't know what she would do.

When the meeting was over, the priest took Emily back upstairs.

“So, did you get it?” he asked.

“I'm not sure I follow you.” she admitted.

“Those women down there, none of them choose to lose their husbands. They weren't given a choice. They have been forced to go on living without them. You, on the other hand, do have a choice. You have been given the option to keep your husband with you.”

Emily suddenly realized what the priest was getting at. Those women downstairs would give anything to have another chance to be with their loves. She was lucky to have AJ. Right then and there she knew without a doubt she was going to meet him on Friday. As she thought about it, she realized that the pain she'd felt over the last few months was nothing compared to the pain she would feel if she lost him for good. Seeing what those women had been through made her realize how foolish she'd been to think that they had all the time in the world to forgive and forget. What they had was here and now and they needed to be making the most of it, not doubting each other.

“Thank you, Father.” she said.

The priest smiled at her. “Thank you.” he said.

“What for?”

“For coming. Will I see you back again on Sunday?” he asked.

Emily smiled. “Absolutely.”

Emily went home smiling. It was so simple, she couldn't believe it had taken her three days to figure out. She no longer felt miserable and confused. She knew she was going to meet AJ, she knew he would be there, and she knew everything would be fine from that point on.

She cleaned up her apartment and got her things ready for her first day of working with Dr. Keaton the next morning. Suddenly she could feel excited at her new job as she looked forward to the opening of a great new clinic that would be innovative and one of a kind. She only hoped the week went quickly because she wasn't sure she'd be able to take the waiting to meet AJ.

AJ hung around Brian's house all day. He went to church with them, played outside in the leaves with Baylee, helped Leighanne cook dinner and of course, ate Brian's ice cream. Even though he was beginning to feel that everything was going to be fine with Emily, he was still dreading going home to his empty house. Brian had suspected as much and understood completely and wondered if he shouldn't offer for him to stay the night but decided that ultimately, AJ being alone in their house might be a good experience for him in part of this whole marriage exercise.

AJ called his mom when he got home. He hadn't spoken with her in awhile and he was lonely enough that he was willing to risk getting his ass chewed out when she found out what he'd done to Emily just to talk to her.

“Hey Ma.” he said.

“Alex! Is everything ok? You don't usually call this late!” Denise said, automatically sensing something wasn't right.

“Everything is fine. Well at least now it is.”

“What does that mean?”

AJ sighed and told her everything that had happened since Denise had been to visit after rehab.

“Jesus!” she said when he finished.

AJ laughed.

“So you're going to meet her on Friday?”

“Without a doubt.” he said.

“And do you think she'll be there?”

“I really do.” he said, confidently.

“Well, if you guys can make it through this, I'm willing to bet you can make it through anything else thrown your way. Just promise me one thing.”

“What's that?” he asked.

“I'd really like to be a grandmother someday so if you guys could try to limit the drama so you can get on with starting a family, I'd really appreciate it.”

AJ laughed. “I will make sure to get right on that.”