Chapter 40

AJ and Emily had a great flight to Mexico. They sat in First Class and he let her have the window seat so she could see the ocean when they landed. He was in a fairly decent mood and they actually chatted quite a bit on the plane.

When they landed, they took a car to their resort, the Riu Palace that was right on the water. AJ had booked them a room on one of the top floors with a large, oceanfront balcony.

“I never thought it possible to see water even more blue than in Hawaii!”

“It's nice, isn't it?”

“Very, thank you.”

Emily unpacked her things and hung up her clothes while AJ flipped through the hotel guide.

“Man, I can't wait to hit the beach! Hey, they rent scuba gear here!”

Emily laughed. “Well we could get changed and go down to the beach right now if you want, it's only four o'clock so there's still plenty of time left!”

“Yeah, ok let's go!” he said.

They changed into their swimsuits and lathered on the sunscreen before going down to check out the beach. They found a spot where there weren't too many people around and laid out their beach towels. Emily sat down and immediately dug her toes into the sand.

“God I love the beach!” she said.

“That's because you grew up in Ohio!” he teased.

“Hey, we have beaches in Ohio.”

“Emily, a beach on a lake does not count.”

“Well...you love the beach and you grew up in Florida!”

“Yes, but my love for the beach does not come from the fact that I never get to go. I just think it's relaxing.”

Emily laid back and put on her sunglasses. “Do you think there are a lot of sharks near here?”

AJ laughed. “Not really. I think you'll be safe.”

After about thirty minutes of sun, AJ decided he wanted to take a swim in the ocean. Emily joined him and was surprised how warm the water was.

“Did you put sunscreen on top of your head? It's starting to look kind of red.” Emily said.

AJ hated to be reminded of the fact that he was losing his hair and playfully splashed water at Emily. She laughed and splashed him back and before they knew it, the two were caught up in a splash war that ended when AJ picked her up and tossed her back into the water.

“Not fair!” she complained.

“Why not?”

“Two reasons. One, I can't pick you up and toss you! And two, my birthday is tomorrow and you have to be nice to me!”

“Hey, it's not my fault you can't pick me up!” he teased.

Emily splashed some more water at him and declared that she was getting out to go dry off in the sun. As she lie on her towel, she decided that tonight she was going to try and be intimate with him. They hadn't been together since before he found out about the baby and Randy and she figured what better time to get it over with than when you're in Mexico having a good time together?

Emily realized that AJ had been keeping a physical distance from her as well as the emotional one. He rarely even touched her lately and she had a feeling that if she could bring back the physical connection, the emotional one might be more easily recovered. The only problem was she had no idea how to approach it. How exactly did one seduce their husband when they haven't so much as held hands? It wasn't like she could walk up to him and kiss him or something.

“What are you thinking about over there?” he asked as he laid down beside her.

“Do you really want to know?” she asked.

“Sure.”

Emily sat up and took off her sunglasses. “I was thinking that maybe we should try to have sex tonight.”

AJ looked away for a moment and then looked back at her. “I guess a guy never says no to sex, does he?”

Emily smiled nervously. “Well, that's true, most wouldn't. Look, if you're not ready....it was just an idea, I kind of thought maybe while we're in beautiful Cancun at the romantic resort it might be easier to be in the mood....” she trailed off.

AJ thought for a moment. His silence was pretty much killing her. While he at least hadn't totally balked at the idea, he didn't seem as thrilled as a normal guy who's wife wanted to have sex with him would be.

“What the hell? Let's give it a shot.” he finally answered.

“Great. What better turn on than a guy who actually has to think about whether or not he wants to have sex?” Emily said, only half teasing.

“So...do you want to do it now....or maybe later?” he asked.

“I was thinking maybe after dinner.”

“After dinner it is.” he said.

Once they'd had enough sun for the evening, they went back up to their room and changed for dinner. Emily wore a dark purple sun dress and AJ wore a pair of dark jeans and a stripped polo shirt that nicely hugged his well toned muscles.

“You look nice.” he said as they got in the elevator together.

“Thanks!” she said, reaching out and taking hold of his hand.

AJ could tell Emily was nervous by the way she was rambling over dinner. He couldn't blame her. Hell, he was nervous himself. He had suspected this might come up while they were on vacation so he wasn't totally surprised, he just wasn't sure he was ready. Making love to Emily was such a special connection to him that it almost felt wrong to do it when he still felt so resentful towards her at times.

Finally, he reached his hand over the table and grabbed hers.

“Would you relax?” he said.

Emily looked up at him and smiled sheepishly. “Is it that obvious?”

“You've barely paused to take a breath.”

“I'm sorry...I just...”

“You're trying.” he finished for her. “And I really appreciate it.”

“To be honest I wasn't sure you'd even noticed how hard I've been trying.”

AJ felt a bit bad. “I've noticed.”

“So what do alcoholics do to settle their nerves if they can't have a drink?” Emily asked.

AJ laughed. “We smoke.”

“Ohh...so that's why you've already had like, five of them! I thought you were just excited to be in a restaurant you were allowed to smoke in!”

“Probably a little of both.” he smiled.

After their dinner was cleared away they each sat there, nervous to leave the restaurant.

“I have an idea!” Emily said finally. “Let's go dancing. They have a club downstairs, I bet they have lots of salsa dancing!”

AJ actually thought that was a decent idea. “Yeah, good thinking! I haven't been out dancing in a long time!”

They went downstairs and followed the sounds of the Latin music into the dark club. AJ decided to grab the bull by the horns and lead his wife out onto the dance floor. Emily was surprised when he grabbed her hand and led her out to the middle and slipped his arm around her waist as he began to lead her. It was almost like he was able to slip right into character, dancing was so natural and second nature to him.

They didn't talk as they danced, they just went with it and found that it was a great ice breaker to lead up to being even more physical. Emily eventually felt comfortable enough place her hands on his chest as they moved to the fast paced music. AJ sometimes managed to forget just how good a dancer his wife was as he also began to relax and start to enjoy holding on to her.

After a few fast songs, a nice, slow song came on. AJ didn't even think about it as he grabbed Emily and pulled her tightly against him, wrapping his arms around her. Emily was surprised but relieved that it seemed to feel right and not awkward as she snaked her arms around his neck and looked up into his eyes. He was looking right back at her and he smiled as he saw her sparkly eyes light up. For the first time since this whole mess had started, Emily had given him butterflies in his stomach as his heart pounded and his body began to ache for her. She eventually laid her head down on his shoulder as she felt him tighten his grip on her.

They danced through two slow songs before their spell was broken and the music went back to fast paced. Emily had a feeling it was now or never as she looked up at him and gave him a questioning look. AJ had the same feeling as he grabbed her hand and led her out of the club and back up to their room. They didn't speak the whole way back, they were too afraid to wreck their newly found confidence in each other. He dug the key out of his pocket and let them into the room. Emily walked in and took off her shoes, turning back to face him. He was still standing by the door, studying her. She was waiting for him to make the first move. She smiled at him as he slowly walked towards her. When he reached her, he reached out to slowly stroke her cheek while he looked deep into her eyes. Emily wished she knew what was going on inside his head right then; if he was contemplating whether or not he wanted this or if he was just nervous. Suddenly, he grabbed her in his arms and crashed his lips down on hers, taking her completely by surprise.

AJ figured he just needed to jump right into things. They were both so nervous he didn't think it made sense to draw it out with lots of foreplay like he really liked to do. He just needed to get started before he changed his mind. As he felt her kiss him back, his mind turned off and he savored her as his tongue tickled his lips.

Emily had been so caught up in worrying if their relationship would ever be the same that she was incredibly relieved to know that his touch and his kiss still felt the same. She played with the little curls on the back of his neck and smiled as she felt him shiver. He ran his hands up and down her back as he deepened his kiss. He slowly slid down the zipper to her dress and slid his hands underneath to feel her soft, warm skin. Emily loved feeling his strong hands on her and suddenly wanted to feel them all over her. She pulled his polo over his head and undid his pants while he slid her dress off and then quickly picked her up and walked over to their bed, gently laying her down. He quickly slipped off his boxers and got in beside her. He bent his head down and gently licked her nipple while his hand slowly slid down and gently grazed over her through her underwear. Emily moaned softly as she squirmed, wanting to feel more. He helped her remove her panties and climbed on top of her, nibbling at her shoulder.

“Are you ready?” he whispered.

Emily nodded.

He spread her legs with his knees and she slowly took him in. Emily didn't quite know what it was but as soon as he was inside her, something changed. It was like a switch had flipped and he became totally disconnected from her. He didn't kiss her, he didn't look at her or even touch her. He was miles away. AJ at his worst was still a fairly good lover because he knew just how to move, so it wasn't like she didn't enjoy herself, it just wasn't quite as fulfilling as it normally would have been. AJ didn't even hold back his orgasm, as soon as he felt it coming he let it go. When he was done, he laid next to her and she curled up against him, unsure of what had just happened.

Emily decided not to say anything. They'd still managed to do it, maybe he just got nervous at the last second or something. He was quiet as he held her. He knew she was disappointed and probably confused and he didn't really feel like discussing it. After about thirty minutes, Emily started to drift off to sleep and AJ slowly climbed out of bed.

“Are you ok?” she asked, sleepily.

“Yeah, I'm just hot. I'm going to go sit on the balcony.” he said, softly.

“Do you want some company?”

“It's ok, go back to sleep.”

“Ok.” Emily said, rolling over and adjusting the blanket.

Emily didn't go back to sleep. She had a feeling her attempt to be physical had backfired. For some reason, AJ had shut down again and she worried that if this continued, it was going to be a long and very awkward vacation.

Chapter 41

AJ stayed on the balcony for two hours before he came back inside and got into bed. He wanted to be awake before Emily did in the morning, so he set the alarm on his cell phone and put it under his pillow. Even though he had his issues with Emily lately, he did still love her and he wanted to try and give her a nice birthday. He knew her birthday was always a little bittersweet because it was right against when Payton was born so every year he tried to make sure she had a great time on her special day.

Emily woke up the next morning and squinted at the bright sunlight coming in from the large windows. She looked over at the clock and saw that it was just after eight o'clock. Then she figured out what had woke her up as she looked up and saw AJ wheeling in their room service cart.

“Happy Birthday, sleepyhead!” he said.

Emily smiled. “Thanks!”

“Are you ready for breakfast?”

“I'm starving, actually.” Emily said, grabbing one of his t-shirts from the drawer and pulling it over her head. “What did you order?”

“Banana pancakes, bacon, eggs, the tropical fruit bowl, orange juice and coffee.”

“Oh my God, you're my hero!” Emily said as he poured them each a cup of steaming hot coffee.

Emily ate until she was stuffed and sat back in her chair. “That was excellent, thank you.”

“You're welcome! So what would you like to do today?”

Emily thought for a moment. “I think I'd like to go snorkeling, then maybe hang out by the pool for awhile and then maybe after lunch we could do a little sight-seeing?”

“Whatever you want, it's your birthday.” he said.

Emily grinned. “Yes it is!”

AJ had to laugh. Emily always was just like a little kid the way she got so excited over her birthday. They took their coffee and went to sit on the balcony, enjoying the breeze and the sounds of the ocean.

“You know, when we're old and retired, we should look into some vacation properties along a nice beach somewhere.” she said.

“Vacation, hell we could just move to the beach!” he said.

“Don't you think it'd get old if you lived there though? I mean, I think if I got to see this view every day, I'd stop thinking it was so special.”

“I guess that's a possibility. We could just buy an RV and drive around the country all the time.”

“No, I think we have to do what all the other retired people do and move to Florida and live in a trailer.”

“Well, at least a double-wide.” he joked.

Emily laughed.

“I'm going to go take a shower.” he said. “You sit here and enjoy your coffee and then when I'm done, the bathroom is all yours.”

“Alright.” she said, pouring herself some more coffee.

Emily sat back and relaxed in the warm sun. As strange as last night had been, this morning seemed much better. She figured a big part of it had to do with it being her birthday but she didn't care what the reason was. He was being sweet and attentive and she was going to enjoy every minute of it.

Emily in fact did end up enjoying her day. They had a great time snorkeling and seeing all sorts of tropical fish in the clear water. She got to spend some time relaxing beside the pool and after eating lunch poolside, they did some sight-seeing around the city. They went back to their room to get cleaned up before they went to the hotel's fancy restaurant for dinner. AJ had done a great job of pretending nothing was wrong all day but she could still notice how distant he seemed at times. It was like as long as he wasn't thinking about whatever was bugging him he was ok and she could tell the exact minute it popped back into his head.

They were seated at a table on the patio overlooking the ocean and were munching on some chips and salsa while they waited for their dinner to arrive.

“I don't want you to think I didn't get you anything for your birthday, but I do want you to know that it was too big for me to bring and it will be waiting for you at our house when we get home.” he said.

“Really? What is is?”

“I'm not going to tell you, it'll be more fun if it's a surprise.” he said.

“Well, whatever it is, I'm sure I'll love it!”

“I'm sure you will too.” he said, smiling at her.

“You love torturing me with surprises, don't you?” she asked.

“Pretty much.”

“Well, I'm already having a great birthday. Thank you for all this.”

“You're welcome.”

“Oh my God! AJ, is that you?” a skinny, brown-haired woman came over to their table.

“Jesus! Kate, is that you?”

“In the flesh!” she said.

AJ stood up and kissed her cheek. “What are you doing here?”

“Probably the same thing you are, I'm on vacation!”

“Wow! What's it been, like, 5 years now?”

“Something crazy like that. You look great.” she said, reaching out to touch his chest.

Emily cleared her throat.

“Oh, sorry! Kate, this is my wife Emily.”

“Nice to meet you.” Emily said, standing up and shaking Kate's hand.

“I heard you got married, I just didn't believe it!” Kate said.

“It's true.” AJ said. “How about you?”

“Me married? Hell no!”

AJ laughed. “Who are you here with?”

“Oh, just some girlfriends. We were supposed to have dinner together but they've all ditched me to spend time with the cute guys they met this afternoon so I'm eating all alone.”

“Well why don't you join us?” AJ suggested.

Emily looked at him, completely surprised.

“That'd be great, thanks!” Kate agreed.

Emily could not believe her eyes as she watched AJ and Kate chat over dinner while she barely spoke three words, mostly because no one ever talked to her. They laughed a lot together as they talked about old times. AJ had only told her a little bit about Kate, they'd dated for about a year but it was never serious, just fun. She just had no idea that Kate was so...gorgeous.

“Remember when we came here together?” Kate asked as she put her hand on his arm.

“Yeah, fuck that seems like ages ago!”

“We hardy even left the room!” Kate laughed.

Emily could not believe this woman. First, she had the nerve to intrude on their dinner. Then she had the nerve to actually touch her husband in a very flirtatious manner repeatedly as she reminisced about their stay in the exact same resort and spent hours upon hours in bed together. And AJ actually had the nerve to not only invite her to join them but to completely exclude Emily from the conversation and to do what she perceived as flirting back as he leaned towards her and smiled. Emily couldn't be sure but she thought she even saw him put his hand on her leg for a moment.

They had long since finished dessert and Kate and AJ were talking about some old friend of theirs and Emily was beginning to grow more agitated and ignored.

“Honey, I'm kind of tired.” she said, trying to hint that she'd like to leave now.

AJ looked at her as if he'd almost forgotten she was there. “Do you want to go back up to the room?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Ok. Well you've got your own key right? I'll try to be quiet when I come in.”

Emily's jaw dropped. Did he actually mean he wasn't coming with her?

“Yeah...alright...I guess I'll see you later.” she said, grabbing her purse and leaving.

Emily was beyond livid by the time she got back to their room. She slammed the door shut and stood in the middle of the room in complete disbelief as she ran over all his offenses in her head to make sure she wasn't just being crazy about it all.

First, he'd invited an ex-girlfriend of his to join them on her birthday dinner. Then he ignored her the entire time while they flirted with each other and talked about old times. And if all that weren't enough, he let her go back to the room by herself while he stayed down there to talk some more with Kate! She definitely was not crazy.

She put on her nightgown and sat out on the balcony wishing she was able to see the restaurant so she could spy on her husband. Eventually she went inside and watched tv until midnight when she turned out the light and tried to go to sleep. She heard him come in the room around one o'clock and she pretended to be sleeping, not wanting to talk to him. He took a quick shower and got into bed next to her. He didn't cuddle up against her, he stayed on his half of the bed and went to sleep within minutes.

Emily didn't get any sleep that night. She watched the sun rise from the balcony and then decided to get dressed and go downstairs to eat some breakfast. She left AJ a note in case he woke up while she was gone. She took her time, enjoying her coffee and hoping AJ would show up and join her but he never did. She went back upstairs and found him still in bed. She left another note saying she was going into town to check out the local marketplace and she'd be back by lunch. She made sure to slam the door on her way out.

Emily felt numb and very out of it as she wandered through the marketplace, pausing to look at the locally made crafts and purchasing a few things as she went along. Eventually, she bought herself a churro and sat down on a bench, unable to keep her thoughts away from AJ any longer. She just didn't understand what had happened last night. He'd been so nice and attentive all day long and then Kate appears and all that ends? Emily suddenly had a very good theory what it was all about and she felt sick to her stomach as she thought about it.

AJ was getting back at her. While she hadn't been completely unfaithful, he didn't see it that way. He'd been spending the whole time trying to figure out a way to move on and suddenly it appeared before him in the form of Kate. Maybe he was just teaching her a lesson, showing her how it felt. Or maybe he really was getting even. She hadn't even thought of it before but for all she knew, he could have slept with her last night. He was out pretty late, she was fairly certain the restaurant wasn't open all night.

Emily wondered if he'd gotten it out of his system, if last night had been just what he needed. Or maybe he didn't yet feel they were even and he had more punishment in store for her. Emily felt incredibly hurt. She never knew AJ was capable of such vindictive behavior. Her sleeping with Randy had hurt him, she would not deny that, but she didn't deliberately hurt him. He was trying to hurt her on purpose and she knew she wasn't going to just sit there and take it until he felt they were even. As difficult as it would be, she was going to have to confront him about it.

As she thought about what she wanted to say, she decided that maybe she didn't want to confront him here, on their vacation. They only had three more days left, she supposed she could try and put it aside until they got home. Maybe they could each manage to enjoy the rest of their trip and hash this all out when they got home. Either way, she knew they had some serious decisions to make and she had a feeling he wasn't going to like what she had to say to him. She had too much pride to just stand back and let him decide when they were even or to let him decide he was never going to forgive her after all. As much as she loved him, she had to love herself more and realize that what she had done was bad, yes, but she didn't deserve this and she wasn't going to take it. Ever since he'd come home after staying at Brian's, she kept thinking if she gave him enough time, space, and understanding that he'd eventually come around and things would get better. After the last two nights, she was no longer sure that would ever happen. If he could never forgive her, what was the point of even being married?

Chapter 42

Emily looked at her watch and realized she needed to get back to the hotel in case AJ had crawled out of bed and decided he should have lunch with his wife. She went up to her room to drop off her packages and was surprised to see that AJ was not there. He hadn't left her a note so she assumed he'd gone down to meet her for lunch. She grabbed her purse and headed down to look for him. She figured he'd be eating on the patio so he could smoke as much as he wanted without it bothering her so she checked there first. She was not prepared for what she was about to see.

She saw him, sitting in the corner at a table and as she headed towards him, she stopped dead in her tracks. He was having lunch with Kate. He was smiling as he listened to her talk. She said something, and he reached across the table and grabbed her hand. Emily had seen enough. She turned on her heels and went back upstairs.

Emily had enough, she was done. She got out her suitcase and began throwing all her things in it. When she was all packed, she called the airline and had her ticket changed to a flight leaving that night. All she had to do was wait for AJ to appear so she could tell him he was off the hook. She was leaving and he was now free to do whatever he pleased.

AJ came upstairs about an hour later.

“Hey, there you are. I was looking for you at lunch!” he said.

“Yeah, I just bet you were.” she said, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

AJ saw her bags by the door and stopped. “What's going on?”

Emily rolled her eyes. “I'm going home.”

“Why?”

“Why do you think? Let's see, I almost don't even know where to start! How about inviting your old girlfriend to join us for my birthday dinner and then getting so caught up in conversation with her that you hardly spoke to me at all the entire time. Then, you stayed down there with her while I went upstairs and I don't even think I want to know what you were doing with her until one in the morning, let alone what you did with her before you two had lunch together.”

“Are you serious? She's just a friend! What, do you think I'm having an affair with her or something?”

“Is that what you want me to think?”

“Why on earth would I want you to think that?” he asked.

“Because then maybe we'd be even! I slept with Randy, you do whatever it is you want to do with Kate and then we can be even? I hurt you so you hurt me back!”

“I did not sleep with her!” he said.

“Well, maybe you should then we can both be bad!”

“Is that what you want?”

“No that's not what I want!”

“Well then what do you want?”

“I want you to forgive me!” she said. “I want to be able to move past this. I thought by coming out here it would help but I just can't do it anymore! I can't go home and live in the same house as you but hardly see or speak to you. If you aren't going to forgive me now, I don't think you ever will.”

AJ was silent. “Has this trip been that awful for you?” he said, finally.

“No. Up until dinner I was having a great time. Well with the exception of the awkward sex we had the other night.”

“Well what were you expecting?”

“I was expecting you to make love to me!” she yelled. “Instead, you totally shut me out. You hardly touched me once we got started, you didn't look at me, you stopped kissing me, it was like you were trying to pretend you were with anyone but me and I spent the whole night wondering what exactly was running through your head at the time.”

“Do you want to know what I was thinking about?” he asked, his voice dropping and his tone becoming very angry.

“What?”

“All I could think about was you with Randy. As soon as we started to have sex all I could think about was how you'd been with someone else and it disgusted me.”

“I disgusted you?”

“Yeah. I felt like I couldn't even stand to touch you, I was so disgusted with the thoughts of you being with someone else running through my mind that I just wanted to get it over with.”

Emily couldn't believe her ears. “You are unbelievable.” she said. “I have been trying so hard and you aren't even willing to try anymore, are you?”

“I don't know.” he said.

“Well, I guess that's it then.” she said.

“So what, you're leaving me?”

“Maybe. I don't know. I'm going to go home tonight. You do what you want. I don't think I can do this anymore. I can't keep up the charade. I'm not going to just sit here and let you hurt me until you're satisfied, because you might not ever be. So unless you've had a sudden change of heart, then yes, I guess I am leaving you.”

“Well that's just your solution to everything, isn't it?” he spat. “Emily's unhappy so she walks away. It's what you've always done.”

“What I've always done? Aren't you the one who went and stayed at Brian's for a week?”

“That wasn't me walking away, that was my response to the way you walked away from our marriage while I was in LA.”

“I did NOT walk out on our marriage!” she said.

“Well, whatever you want to call it, it is what it is.” he said. “You were all sad that you thought I'd left you so you went crawling to the doctor guy.”

“That isn't what I did!”

“No? Seems to me whenever things get too hard for you to handle you split.”

“Yes, you're absolutely right. I'm going to go home and who knows what kind of trouble I'll land myself in this time, right?” Emily said, her voice full of sarcasm.

“Exactly.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “We are done here.” she said, picking up her bags.

“Hey tell Randy I said hello for me when you see him, would you?”

“What?”

“Well, I can only assume you'll be all sad and upset tomorrow so you'll probably have to call him to make yourself feel better, right? Maybe have the doctor give you a physical?”

Emily smacked AJ hard in the face. “How dare you!”

They stood there for a moment glaring at each other before Emily turned and went. She stood outside the door for a minute, hoping AJ would come after her but he never did. She got on the elevator and went down to the lobby. She was surprised to see it was raining heavily when she got down there and the doorman said it would be awhile before she'd be able to get a taxi on account of the weather. She sat down on a bench beneath the covered drive in front of the lobby and waited.

AJ sat down on the bed still trying to process what had just happened. Had Emily really just left him? Had he really just let her? Was that what he wanted? He could understand why she was upset. She was even partially right about him getting even with her but that wasn't how it started out. When he saw Kate, he was reminded of his relationship with her and how much fun they had because they never cared if things were serious or not, they just had fun together. With Emily, it seemed like there was always something. It was hard work and it was not always fun, especially lately. Once he and Kate started talking about the old times, it occurred to him that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing making Emily jealous, maybe it would give her a taste of her own medicine. So instead of going upstairs with her when she left dinner and being uncomfortable with his wife, he stayed and had a good time with Kate.

After the restaurant closed, they had gone for a walk on the beach together and he could tell that Kate was definitely laying it on thick.

“I really miss hanging out with you sometimes.” Kate said as she grabbed hold of his hand.

“Really?”

“Of course, we had so much fun together.” she said.

“That we did.” AJ said as they kept walking.

“I haven't found anyone since you who's quite as fun and right for me as you were.”

“Well I'm sure there must be someone out there for you.” he said.

“What do you say you come up to my room with me, for old time's sake?” she suggested.

AJ stopped and looked at her. “Kate, I can't. I'm married, remember?”

“If you're so dedicated to your wife, what are you doing walking on the beach late at night with another woman?”

AJ had no answer to that question because he didn't know himself. “It's complicated.” he finally answered.

“Just because you're married doesn't mean you're happy.” she said. “I can tell you aren't happy with her.”

AJ sighed. “I love Emily, it's just...some shit went down a few weeks ago. Things are rough right now.”

“Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me.” she said. Kate went back up to her room alone and AJ stayed out on the beach to think. He realized that maybe if he did sleep with Kate, things with Emily could get better. He wouldn't need to forgive her, he'd just get even and then maybe he'd be able to move on. The only problem was that Emily might find out and he didn't think she'd be able to see his reasoning. It was tempting. Kate was still a very attractive woman and he knew it could be a lot of fun but in his heart, he knew he could never do that to Emily. When he pledged himself to her forever, he meant it. He didn't want to sink to that level just to get back at her. In the long run, it wouldn't be worth it.

Meeting Kate the next day at lunch had been a pure coincidence. He'd actually gone down looking for Emily, hoping to apologize for his behavior but he didn't see her there and when he ran into Kate, he decided just to join her, feeling there was no point in the both of them eating alone. He didn't know Emily had seen them.

As AJ sat thinking about all that went on, he realized he was probably about to lose his wife. He groaned in frustration as he ran his fingers through his hair. Was that what he really wanted? Did he want her to go? The realization that he was actually torn by that question hit him hard. He wasn't even sure if he wanted his wife to leave him or not? What kind of guy was he? He ran out of the room and caught the elevator down to the lobby, praying Emily was still there.

He saw her getting into a taxi while the driver loaded her bags and he ran outside.

“Emily!” he yelled.

Emily looked up and got out of the cab, her face full of uncertainty.

“Please don't leave!” he said.

“Why?”

“Because I love you!” he said.

“Are you ready to forgive me and let all of that go?” she asked, looking him square in the eye.

“I...I don't know...I think so...” he said, sounding very unsure.

“That's what I thought. Look, I love you too but this just won't work. I can't stay with you if you're always going to hold this against me. If you can't forgive me now, I don't think you'll ever be able to.”

AJ was silent, his face full of emotion. He didn't know what to say.

“Goodbye AJ.” Emily said as she got back into the cab.

She asked the driver to leave immediately and she didn't look back as she drove away. AJ stood on the curb and watched the taxi until it was gone. Then he shoved his hands in his pockets and went back upstairs to his room.

Emily was gone, and he didn't even know how he felt about it.