Chapter 16

Emily found she was glad she'd gone home sick yesterday, it kept everyone from thinking something was wrong with her. They all assumed she still wasn't feeling well. She couldn't concentrate at all and asked Leslie if she could work the nurse line again. Leslie was more than willing to give her a break and so she sat at the desk all day answering the questions of worried parents. She wished there was a nurse line she could call to ask questions about drunk husbands who suddenly disappeared but she knew she was on her own. She kept trying to tell herself she was reading too much in to what he'd written, that he simply went out for some air and he'd probably be home when she got there, but part of her knew better than that. As much as she didn't want to admit it to herself, she knew he wouldn't be there when she got home.

Just before lunch, Randy came up and sat down next to her.

“Are you alright?” he asked quietly.

Emily shook her head. “I really can't talk about it right now.” she answered with a shaky voice.

“Ok. Well, I wanted to give you a heads up. There's a surprise party for you in the lounge, I thought you might like some time to prepare your happy face.”

Emily managed a smile. “Thanks for the warning. Is there cake?” she asked, thinking that drowning her sorrows in a huge piece of cake sounded like a brilliant idea.

“I picked it out myself!” he said.

“Then I'll see you there! Oh, and before I forget, Mrs. Ackerman called again...three times today. Ashley still won't nurse and she's starting to sound a bit frantic. I thought maybe you wouldn't mind giving her a call if you have a minute?”

Randy laughed. Mrs. Ackerman was a new mom who always had a million questions and called more than frequently. “I'll call her right now.”

Ten minutes later Emily managed to muster up her strength to walk into the lounge and pretend to be surprised at her farewell party. There was indeed cake but there was also pizza and sodas. She managed to keep a smile on her face the entire time she mingled and said goodbye to the staff and thanked them for the party. She received many cards that she promised to open later and Dr. Ross even left her a bouquet of flowers.

“That clinic is lucky to have you!” Margie said as she hugged her.

“Thanks Margie. And hey, you have my e-mail so you can keep me updated on the gossip train if you want!”

Margie laughed.

The party was short as everyone needed to get back to work and Emily remained behind to clean up the mess before returning to her desk.

When her last shift at Glenview Pediatrics was over she debated on stopping to talk to Randy. He was a good listener and he was the only person who really knew what was going on, but part of her felt almost unfaithful to AJ to confide in Randy knowing how AJ felt about him. Ultimately she was glad when Leslie told her he was stuck on the phone with Mrs. Ackerman again and so she left without saying goodbye to him.

Her heart was racing as she turned down her street, her fingers crossed in hopes that he'd be home. Her heart sank as she opened the garage to find it empty. She knew it had been silly to hope for. She sat in her car after she parked it. She was having a hard time wanting to go inside. How was she just supposed to walk into their home and go about her business? What was she supposed to do? Sit around and wait? If he never came back she'd be waiting an awfully long time. She just wished he'd have been a little more clear in his note. It could have meant he was gone for the day, for the weekend, or it might have meant he had really left her and he was gone from their marriage. She just didn't know, and that made it hard for her to even function.

Reluctantly, she carried her cake and cards inside and sat down at the kitchen table with a fork and attacked what was left of the cake. She decided to suck it up and just call his cell phone. She didn't know why it took so long for the thought to occur to her that she could just call him and ask him what the hell was going on. Taking a deep breath, she picked up the phone and dialed his number. It went straight through to voice mail. He must have turned it off. He probably knew she'd try and call him. She left him a message.

“Hey, it's me. Look, you don't have to talk if you're not ready, I guess I could use a little clarification though. Your note was a bit..cryptic...I guess I just need to know...are you coming back....or not....I just need to know....ok, bye.”

Maybe it was a good thing he didn't answer. She had enough trouble telling his voice mail what she wanted let alone him.

She sighed as she took another forkful of cake. Her mind didn't seem to be capable of processing what was happening. She kept thinking she should be devastated or angry or something yet strangely she wasn't feeling much of anything besides uncertainty. So instead of thinking more about AJ, she decided to open all her cards. She got many well wishes from the staff and Leslie and Margie had both written her a nice note inside her card. Randy's was the last one she opened.

Dear Emily,

I'm so sorry things have been tough for you lately.

I want you to know how proud I am to see you doing

so well. You will make a great nurse and anywhere you

work they'll be lucky to have you.

If you ever need to talk, remember I'm here. Please

don't hesitate.

Randy

Emily sighed. As much as she would like to talk to someone, she wouldn't even know what to say. She had a feeling that once the shock wore off she would be a mess but until then, she just wanted to pretend everything was normal.

She went to bed early that night, not knowing what else to do. She took two of her sleeping pills and went to sleep with Guapo purring next to her head. She awoke at two am from a terrible nightmare in which AJ was laying in a ditch somewhere, clinging to life and calling for her but she couldn't find him. She knew he was hurt and she was frantically searching everywhere for him and she couldn't get to him to save him. She awoke drenched in sweat and tears. What if he was out there waiting for her to come to him? What if he needed her? She got a glass of water and turned on the tv, trying to calm herself down and rationalize that AJ wasn't lying in a ditch somewhere it was just her mind playing games with her as it took in everything that was going on.

She managed to fall back asleep a few hours later only to wake up to yet another nightmare. This time, AJ was alive and well and had served her with divorce papers and threw her out of the house with nothing but the clothes on her back leaving her with no place to go. She gave up on sleeping at that point and decided she was better off awake. By eight o'clock she began to think of all the places he could be. She got online and checked all of her bank and credit card statements to see if maybe he'd paid for a local hotel. She didn't see any hotels but on her visa she saw that he had purchased a plane ticket yesterday to L.A. and that was all she was able to determine.

She called Kristin at noon in hopes that he was staying with them and just needed a vacation but if he wasn't, she didn't really want to inform them of what was going on.

“Hey Emily! I haven't heard from you in awhile!” Kristin greeted.

“I know! I just thought I'd call and see what was new!”

“Honestly, not a single thing is new! Kevin and I are taking a trip to Venice next week though. I've never been there so I'm really excited. How about you? Are you and AJ still going at it like newlyweds?”

So maybe he wasn't there...”No, I suppose we finally got out of that stage.”

“I haven't talked to him in forever either. You guys should come out here and visit soon!”

“Uh...yeah, that'd be nice.” she said, trying to keep her voice calm. “So he hasn't called you or anything lately?”

“No, why? Is everything ok, you sound weird?”

“Everything is fine, I just thought he'd have kept in touch with Kevin for some reason.”

“Not that I know of. I'm sure he's been busy with the album and everything.”

“Yeah. Look I'm sorry to cut this short, I have to go.”

“Are you sure you're alright?”

“I'm fine, I just have to go. It was nice talking to you.”

Emily hung up the phone and for the first time in a day she cried. AJ was gone in LA and she didn't know where he was. She was finally starting to believe he had really left her. She tried his cell phone again and it was still off. Suddenly she couldn't stand to be in their home one more minute. Everywhere she turned she saw memories of him and their life together. In their pictures on the wall, his pair of shoes on the floor of their room, his stuff in the bathroom, he was everywhere she turned and she had to get away.

She got in her car and drove over to Brian's house. She couldn't do this on her own anymore and it was time she fess up to someone who knew AJ what was going on. If she couldn't save him, she was going to have to find someone who could.

She rang the doorbell and a minute later Brian answered it. He took one look at her face and ushered her inside and sat her down in the family room while he sent Baylee upstairs to play and called Leighanne in from the office.

“What's wrong?” he asked her.

Emily wrung her hands as she finally admitted what she was most afraid of.

“I think maybe....I think AJ....left me.”

Brian and Leighanne looked at her, stunned.

“No, he wouldn't do that! I'm sure he just needed some space. Married people go through spells....” Leighanne tried to reassure.

Emily shook her head. “No, this isn't a spell. This has been going on for awhile.”

“What do you mean? What's going on?” Brian asked.

“Did he tell you his album got dropped?”

“No! He didn't say anything. Come to think of it, I don't think I've talked to him since the end of the tour.”

“Yeah, well, his album got dropped and he went into this huge depressed state thinking he's not good enough anymore or something like that and he was constantly picking fights with me about my job and about not trusting him and not talking to him. We tried counseling but after two sessions he said he didn't want to go anymore. He said he didn't need a shrink to tell him what he already knew which was that all this was his fault and he didn't need someone to fix it, he'd do it himself. He started staying up all night and sleeping all day and going out and never telling me where he was. Then I started to suspect he was drinking again. I came home sick Thursday afternoon and he said he was going to his meeting but I didn't believe him so I followed him to a bar. I watched him down a glass of whiskey before going home. I went through the house and found bottles hidden all over the place. I confronted him about it and he exploded, yelling at me for not trusting him and saying I had no right to follow him. When I got up Friday morning he was gone. He left a note but all it said was he was sorry but he couldn't do it anymore, he had to go. I've tried calling him but his phone is off and I looked at my visa statement and saw that he bought a plane ticket to LA.”

Brian and Leighanne were completely shocked. They'd had no idea things had been bad, let alone that bad.

“Emily why didn't you say anything sooner?” Leighanne asked.

Emily sighed. “I don't know, I guess I was ashamed.”

“What's there to be ashamed of?”

“I wanted people to think we had a great marriage. I guess I wanted to believe that too.”

Brian was silent but his face was full of worry and anger.

“This doesn't mean he's left you.” Leighanne said.

“I know that. And I want to believe that. I'm just not sure it's true anymore. Not when I look at the way things have been going lately.”

“You should have come to us sooner.” Brian said, gently.

“I know. I guess I just thought if anyone could help him it would be me. Apparently I was wrong.”

“You did the right thing. I'm going to call Kevin and see if he's heard from him.” Brian said as he excused himself to the office.

“What's up Brian?” Kevin said as he picked up the phone.

“We have a problem.” Brian said as he explained to Kevin everything Emily had just told them.

“Well that would explain her weird call to Kristin this morning. She was probably trying to see if he was here with us.”

“So you haven't heard from him?”

“No.”

“Do you have any idea where he'd be?”

Kevin thought for a moment. “I have a few ideas. I'll make some calls and get back to you.”

Kevin called all the upscale hotels and used AJ's false name he always registered under. When he didn't turn up he tried again using his real name. Still nothing. He called the few friends he could think of that AJ might crash with and still nothing. He called Brian back to let him know. Brian tried AJ's cell phone but just like Emily said, it went straight to voice mail. He didn't bother leaving a message, he knew AJ wouldn't call him back even if he did.

Brian walked back in to the family room and found Emily crying in Leighanne's arms.

“Anything?” Leighanne asked.

“Nothing.” he answered.

After having admitted to Brian and Leighanne what was going on, Emily finally started to realize it herself. She finally realized he was gone, her marriage had fallen apart, and there might not be a single thing she could do about it. She felt hollow, empty, hurt, and angry. The pain was unbelievable and she was at a complete loss.

Chapter 17

Leighanne managed to get Emily calmed down after awhile and the two women sat quietly together while Brian took Baylee outside to play. Emily was sipping a cup of herbal tea when it occurred to her that there was one person left who might know where AJ was.

“Can you hand me my phone?” she asked.

Leighanne looked surprised as she handed over Emily's cell phone.

“Who are you calling?”

“I need to call his mom. Maybe she's heard from him.”

Leighanne squeezed Emily's hand as she dialed and hit send.

“Denise, it's Emily.”

“What's happened?” Denise asked, hearing the distress in Emily's voice.

“Have you heard from AJ?”

“Not since last week when I called him, why?”

Once again defeated in finding him, Emily's eyes welled up again and Leighanne quickly took the phone from her and excused herself to quickly fill Denise in.

“What did she say?” Emily asked, when Leighanne came back in.

“She didn't say much, actually. She hasn't heard from him and she promised to call as soon as she does. She seems pretty worried. And she's worried about you too.”

“Me? Why?”

“Because you're her daughter-in-law! She cares a lot about you too, you know. She made me promise to take care of you.”

Emily laughed. “She must have forgotten who she was talking to.”

Leighanne smiled. “You know, not everyone thinks of me as the bossy care-giver!”

“I know. Only the ones who've never experienced it.”

“Are you sure I can't fix you something to eat?”

Emily shook her head. “I'm not hungry.”

“Do you think you'd be able to take a nap? You look exhausted.”

“Actually a nap sounds nice.” Emily admitted.

“The guest room is all made up, you can rest up there if you'd like.”

Emily nodded. “Thanks. Wake me if you hear anything?”

“I promise.”

Emily went upstairs and into the guest suite that had been hers once upon a time. It seemed like such a long time ago that she started working for Brian and Leighanne, before she was in a relationship with AJ. She got into bed and shut her eyes, trying to think of anything but AJ.

Leighanne went outside to find Brian.

“How is she?” he asked.

“She went upstairs to take a nap.”

Brian nodded.

“She called Denise to see if maybe she'd heard from him but she hadn't.”

Brian frowned.

“What do you think's happened to him?” she asked, not sure she wanted to hear his answer.

“I honestly don't know. And I don't even think we have a way to find out, either. Unless he decides to call someone or answer his phone.”

Emily was surprised to find it was dark out when she woke up. She looked at the clock. It was almost ten. She got up and went downstairs. Brian and Leighanne were out on the back deck.

“Any news?” she asked as she joined them.

Leighanne looked up at Emily. “No, honey I'm sorry. No one's heard from him and his phone is still off.”

Emily sat down. “What the hell am I supposed to do?”

Neither Brian or Leighanne had an answer.

“Why don't you stay the night here?” Brian suggested.

Emily laughed. “Yeah, it's not like I want to go home.”

Emily stayed at Brian's house for two nights. She didn't eat much but when she realized Leighanne was probably preparing to tie her up and force feed her, she forced herself to eat some dinner. Brian was keeping in close contact with Kevin and Denise for her and as of yet no one had heard from him.

On Monday morning she overheard Leighanne and Brian talking about canceling their trip to New York. Emily refused to let them stay home for her, insisting that she needed to go home anyway. While Brian had been to her house to feed the dogs and the cat, she knew she couldn't stay gone forever and she was ready to face it.

“Are you absolutely sure?” Leighanne asked. “Because we can wait a few weeks to go...”

“Leighanne, I swear to you I'll be ok. I promise, I'll call you if I need anything but please don't go putting your own lives on hold, it's bad enough that mine has to be!”

Reluctantly, Brian and Leighanne agreed to go, keeping their plans to leave Tuesday morning.

Emily went home that afternoon, taking a deep breath as she walked in and threw her keys on the counter. Everything was exactly how she'd left it, down to the leftover cake on the table.

She went through the mail and read the Sunday ads in the paper. She cleaned the kitchen and then decided to go ahead and clean the rest of the house while she was at it. When she was finished with that she gave the dogs a bath outside and then decided that since she had the hose out she'd wash her car too. When she had nothing left to clean she went back inside.

She went upstairs to take a shower but she never made it. As soon as she walked into her bedroom it hit her all over again. For all she knew, she would never sleep another night in that bed with him. They'd never make love, she'd never wake up in his arms. He was gone. He'd given up, not on her but on his own life and she didn't know if she'd ever be able to forgive him of that. She curled up on the bed and cried until she had no strength left to cry anymore. She tried to tell herself she couldn't cry over him forever but she accepted she was going to need some time to pull it together. Part of her was still holding on to hope that at any minute he would walk through the door and pull her into his arms and make everything better. She was thankful that she had two weeks before her new job started. It would give her time to try and sort out her mess of a life.

Brian had been very upset since Emily's confession to what had been going on. For awhile, Emily had literally been a part of his family when she was Baylee's nanny. She was more than a nanny and they all knew it. She gave so much of herself to his son that Brian had come to think of Emily almost like his sister as well as his friend. He was hurting for her but he was also worried sick about AJ and so angry with him that he prayed he didn't kill him whenever he saw him next.

He and Kevin had talked daily if not more, keeping in touch with the lack of news on AJ's whereabouts.

“So you haven't heard anything today?” Kevin asked when Brian answered the phone Monday night.

“Nothing.”

“How's Emily?” Kevin asked. As much as he'd had his differences with her, Kevin had also come to care about Emily. He'd forgiven a lot of AJ, he didn't know if he'd ever be able to forgive this.

“She's holding up I guess. She went home this afternoon and refused to let us cancel our trip so we're still planning on leaving in the morning.”

“Kris was wondering if she should maybe come stay with Emily while you two are gone?”

“I don't think she'd let her to be honest. I think Emily's ready to take some time to let it all sink in. She said she just needs to be alone and start putting things back together as best she can.”

Kevin grunted. “She makes it sound so simple.”

“I know. I just don't think she knows what else to do at this point. If she knew one way or another exactly what was going on then maybe but not knowing must be killing her.”

And it was. Or at least that's how Emily felt that night. She felt lifeless and empty. She managed to crawl out of her bed and decided to sleep in the guest room down the hall from their master suite. She even went as far as moving most of her clothes and her toiletries along with her. She just wanted to shut the door to their room and leave it closed. To her it felt almost like AJ was dead. She didn't know where he was, she couldn't talk to him, see him, touch him, he was just gone. Just like that.

She didn't feel like she should be tired, she felt like she should be so upset that sleep would be the last thing on her mind but surprisingly, she was exhausted. All she wanted to do was lie down and go to sleep and not wake up until this was all over. Or even better, wake up and find that it had all been a terrible dream.

She crawled into the small guest bed and pulled the covers up over her head in an attempt to shut out the world. She was asleep seconds later.

She woke up Tuesday and was stunned when she looked at the clock and saw that it was 11:30 and she had slept for over fourteen hours and had it not been for the dogs whining to go out she probably would have slept hours more. She dragged her tired body out of bed and shuffled downstairs to let the dogs out. While she was waiting for them to come back inside she filled up their food and water bowls and then fed Guapo. She checked the answering machine for messages but there were none. She found her cell phone in the kitchen and found that she had missed a call from Leighanne but no one else. Leighanne had left her a message saying they had gotten to New York ok and was checking in to see how Emily was holding up.

After letting the dogs back in she made herself some toast and poured a glass of orange juice and sat down in her overly silent house to eat. Still feeling exhausted, she decided there was no harm in going back to bed. What did she have to be awake for, anyway?

Her cell phone woke her up around five. It was Leighanne again.

“Hey Leigh.” she answered.

“Emily, are you ok?”

“Yeah, I was asleep.”

“Oh, I'm sorry! Besides the obvious, how are you?”

Emily smiled. Leighanne was probably worried sick. “I'm fine. I'm sorry I missed your call this morning. I've actually just been sleeping all day. I didn't see the point in getting up if I was that tired.”

“No, you're right! You need to catch up on some rest.”

“So...have you heard anything?” Emily asked, hesitantly.

“No, honey I'm sorry, we haven't. I take it you haven't either?”

“No.”

“Well, I wanted to let you know that we made it to our cabin upstate but we don't have any cell reception and there isn't a land line because it's “rustic” or whatever. Brian absolutely loves it.”

“How are you calling me now?”

“We went into town to get some groceries.”

Emily laughed, unsure if Leighanne knew how to function without a telephone of some sort.

“Well thanks for letting me know.” she said.

“I'll check in the next time we go into town but until then, if you need anything at all, call Kristin, ok?”

“Leighanne stop worrying, I'll be alright. Go enjoy your vacation!”

“I will. I'll talk to you soon.”

Leighanne's phone call had Emily wondering how many places near LA didn't have cell phone reception and wondered if AJ was in one of them. She got out of bed and went into the office. She hadn't checked her e-mail yet that day and she'd gotten into the habit of frequently checking it in case he'd decided to contact her that way instead of by phone or just coming home.

She'd gotten so used to not hearing from him that she was completely shocked to see an e-mail from amclean@gmail.com pop up in her in-box. Her heart was pounding and her palms were immediately sweating as she opened it up and read it.

Emily,

I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for leaving the way I did. I hope you understand

it was what I had to do. I know it's probably been tough for you, it's been tough

for me too but things are starting to look up. Ultimately, I think going was

what was best for me. I think I made the right decision, I hope you are able to understand.

AJ

Emily put her hand over her mouth and read his e-mail over and over, letting his words sink in. Things are looking up for him already? Going was what's best? The right decision?? And how the hell would she ever be able to understand?!?! She was angry, furious. Beyond furious with him.

There was a small part of her that felt relieved to at least know she had her confirmation. He had left her and the bastard seemed happy about it. It seemed he was even almost over it if things were starting to look up for him.

Suddenly she needed to get out of the house. She felt the walls starting to close in on her and she was having trouble breathing. She threw on some clothes, brushed her hair and literally ran outside, got in her car and drove off. She must have driven for over an hour but she hadn't even realized it had been that long. She mostly drove in circles around her end of town, her mind reeling as it tried to process what AJ had said.

The more she drove, the more it began to seem real to her. She needed to talk to someone, anyone. She needed to get a lot off her chest. She pulled over in a gas station and called Leighanne. When it went straight to her voice mail she remembered that Leighanne was out of range. There was only one other person in Atlanta who had the slightest idea what was going on with her life. While Randy might not have been the greatest person for her to go to about this because she was fairly certain he still harbored some hidden feelings for her, he was the only one she had. The knowledge that it would piss AJ off if he found out was just a benefit. She dialed his number.

“Hello?” he answered.

“Randy? It's Emily.”

“Emily! Are you alright? You sound terrible!”

“Can I come over?” she asked.

“Of course!”

“Ok, thanks. I think I'm only ten minutes from you.”

“Ok, I'll see you then.” Randy said, his voice full of concern.

Chapter 18

Randy was waiting on his front porch for her when she pulled up his driveway. He met her halfway up the walk and wrapped his arms around her. He could feel her shaking in his arms and he knew that whatever had happened was bad. He released her after a minute and studied her. She looked exhausted and he suspected she hadn't been eating judging by the way her shirt hung slightly looser than normal. .

“Come on, let's go inside.” he said.

He ushered her in to his house and sat her down on the couch.

“What's going on?” he asked, not entirely sure if he really wanted to hear the answer.

Emily fiddled with the throw pillow. “Do you have anything to drink?” she asked.

Randy looked a little surprised. “What kind of drink are we talking about?”

“I could use a little something to calm my nerves before I start talking.”

Randy went into the kitchen and returned with two glasses of what Emily assumed was a screwdriver. She took three large sips and set her glass down.

“When I came home early Thursday he said he was going to his AA meeting. I didn't believe him because he was asleep when I walked in the door. If I hadn't come home he probably would have slept through it and given the suspicions I already had, I didn't really think he'd been going all this time. So I decided to follow him. He went to a bar. I stayed and watched him have a drink and then I left. I went home and found bottles hidden all over the place. I confronted him when he came home that night. He blew up and said I had no right to follow him and how dare I not trust him and then he had the nerve to say it was all my fault, he couldn't stand to see that disappointed look in my face every time I looked at him. I told him I wasn't going to stand around and watch him do this anymore. He went to bed. I fell asleep on the couch. When I woke up, he was gone. He had left a note saying he couldn't do it anymore. I didn't know what to think. Had he just gone to get some space for a few days? Or had he really left me for good? I tried to call him but his phone was off.”

“You went in to work with that hanging over your head?” Randy asked, surprised that she'd even been able to function.

Emily chuckled. “I don't know how, I just told myself it was my last day and I didn't want to miss it. I knew I wasn't going to be worth much, that's why I volunteered to work the phones.”

“Jesus, Em. I had no idea!” he said.

“No one did. I went home, praying he'd be there but of course, he wasn't. I went through all my online credit statements and I found out he'd bought a ticket to LA and that was all I knew. Saturday I went over to Brian's and I told them everything.”

“They didn't know about it?”

Emily shook her head. “You were the only person I told.”

“Em you shouldn't have kept that all to yourself!”

“I know. I guess I just didn't want to admit things had gotten so bad.”

“Have you heard from him since then?”

Emily nodded. “I got an e-mail from him tonight.” she said, trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

“What did he say?”

“Well he finally confirmed it. He said he was sorry he left the way he did but it was what he had to do and ultimately he felt it was for the best.”

Randy sighed as he clenched his fists, wishing he could get his hands on McLean for what he'd done to Emily.

“So, just like that?” he asked.

Emily nodded as she bit her lip in an effort to keep the tears at bay. She had told herself she wasn't going to give AJ the benefit of her tears but she was starting to find that to be very difficult.

“Just like that.” she said. “My marriage is over.”

As she heard herself say it, she finally understood what it was she was saying. Her marriage was over. Once again, she felt the walls start to close in on her and she couldn't breathe. Tears were pouring down her face as she struggled to even find the breath to cry.

Randy leaned her forward and put her head down between her knees. He gently rubbed her back as he softly spoke to her, encouraging her just to try and take deep breaths.

When she calmed down enough he handed her the rest of her screwdriver while he downed his.

“What the hell am I supposed to do now?” she asked. “I mean am I just supposed to sit around and wait for the divorce papers? Am I just supposed to say, 'Oh, ok well I'm sorry it wasn't working out for you' and move on, just like that? That's certainly what he fucking did, isn't it? He's all, 'Oh I'm sorry it's tough on you' meanwhile he's in fucking LA probably partying it up with his booze and blonde bimbos.”

Emily was becoming irate as she stood up, pacing back and forth as she rambled on for the next hour. Randy was patient, listening to her when she ranted, holding her when she cried. He didn't say much, he knew what Emily really needed was just to get a lot of feelings off her shoulders.

“He promised me he'd never walk away when things got tough! He fucking sat next to me and promised! He said if I married him it was for good and he'd always be there. What the hell happened to that guy, huh? Where'd he go? And you're probably sitting there saying 'I told you so' because I picked him over you and you told me you thought he sounded like an asshole but I told you he wasn't because he didn't used to be, or at least that's what I thought when clearly he was and is an asshole and I should have picked you but I didn't and now I'm miserable and you're still here and so you're probably miserable sitting there listening to me after all that I put you through and....oh God, I just don't know what I'm even supposed to do now!” Emily said, sitting down.

Hearing Emily admit that she should have picked him had Randy a little jolted. While he still had feelings for Emily, he'd long since recognized he'd never have her and he got over her. For the most part. He knew Emily was not anywhere near the condition to be rational so for all he knew she could have just said that to make a point, it didn't necessarily mean she actually thought that. But the thought that it was a possibility sparked something from deep inside him. Nevertheless, he was a smart man and he knew he had to keep his feelings at bay. What Emily needed now was a friend.

Emily had finally finished ranting and now she was staring off into space.

“You know, Margie would have a field day if she knew about all of this.” he finally said, trying to break the tension.

Emily started cracking up and together the two of them laughed for a few minutes as they envisioned Margie telling the whole staff just how dramatic Emily's life really was.

Emily wiped the tears from her eyes as her laughter died down.

“Thank you.” she said.

“For what?”

“For listening, for making me laugh. I know it's probably a little awkward for you to be put in this position. I do recognize that and I'm sorry. It's just, you're pretty much my only friend who isn't also AJ's friend that has even the slightest clue about any of this and I really needed to talk to someone.”

“Of course.” he said. “And so what if it's a little awkward? I can get over it.”

“I'm not keeping you from anything, am I?” she asked, suddenly aware that he had his own life to lead.

“Not at all. I just got home about ten minutes before you called and I didn't have any plans tonight.”

“So, still a bachelor huh?”

“Much to Margie's dismay, yes. I actually had a date Saturday night but she was a little....weird.” he admitted.

“Weird in what way?”

“Weird in the we had nothing in common because she hates kids, doesn't have a job, hates outdoor activities and smokes like a chimney way.”

Emily laughed. “And you didn't like her after all those things? Man, you're getting picky!”

Randy chuckled. “I suppose I am!”

“Do you mind if I hang out here for awhile? I don't think I can go home. Not yet, anyway.”

“I don't mind at all. I was going to make some dinner, I know you're probably not hungry but if you wanted to try and eat I'd be happy to make you some too.”

“You're right, I'm not hungry. Do you have any ice cream?”

“As a matter of fact I do, and I believe it's one of your favorites but you can only have it if you eat something with a little substance first.” he said, crossing his arms.

“Fine.” Emily gave in. “Can I help?”

“Nope, I got it. You can watch tv or something if you like.”

While Randy worked in the kitchen Emily propped her feet up and tried to focus on watching Law and Order. He returned halfway through the show with two plates of stir fry.

Emily took a small bite and to her surprising, it sat well in her stomach and so she continued eating until little by little, she cleared her plate. As promised, Randy delivered her a large bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream that she ate and wondered at the comforting power of ice cream and chocolate. Apparently it could help even the worst of wounds. When she was done eating she lay down on the couch, starting to feel a bit drowsy.

Randy smiled as he looked over and saw Emily sleeping, some of the tension finally easing from her face. He turned off the tv, covered her with a blanket and went into his office to do some work.

He returned an hour later when he heard Emily making distressed sounds in her sleep. When he walked into his living room he saw her, her body tightly curled up, drenched in sweat and tears staining her cheeks.

“No! Don't go!” she said in her sleep.

Randy sighed and walked over to her. He gently placed his hand on her shoulder and knelt in front of her.

“Em, wake up! Come on sweetie, it's just a dream, wake up.” he said softly.

Emily's eyes flew open and for a few seconds she looked completely disoriented as she quickly sat up and looked around her. As soon as she came back to reality it all came crashing back to her. Her lip started to tremble and the tears started falling yet again. Randy pulled her to him and held her, gently stroking her hair in an attempt to calm her.

After a few minutes, Emily looked up at him, her eyes still full of tears. She held his gaze for a moment before she leaned closer and kissed him.

The touch of her lips was all it took for Randy to remember just how good it had felt to be with Emily, but he knew he couldn't. Not this way. He had to tear himself away from her.

“Em, we can't....” he said, resting his forehead against hers.

“Please!” she pleaded. “Please, I just need to feel loved. Just this once.”

Randy realized it wasn't about revenge sex or rebound sex at all. Emily felt completely rejected and unloved at a time in her life when she finally felt like everything was right. Her marriage falling apart was totally unexpected to her and a huge betrayal of her heart. She needed someone to love her right now, more than anything else. With this realization, Randy caved in and kissed her.

Emily relaxed into him as she kissed him back and placed her hands on either side of his face. Randy quickly felt all his hesitations melt away as her tongue gently teased his and her hands played with his hair. When their kiss broke he stood and scooped her up in his arms, carrying her back to his bedroom and laying her down gently on his bed.

“Are you sure?” he whispered as he lay down next to her.

Emily nodded and flipped to her side, facing him. He put an arm around her and pulled her to him as his lips captured hers again while he slipped a hand under the back of her shirt and caressed her soft skin. She moaned slightly at the feeling of his warm hand on her back. She pulled at his shirt to un-tuck it from his pants and slid her hands underneath, running her nails gently up and down his spine. He rolled over on top of her and began kissing her neck and allowing his hand to search out her breast, loving the way it filled his hand. Emily gasped slightly as she arched up against him. His lips found hers again while she reached up and undid the buttons to his shirt, sliding it off his shoulders.

Randy sat up and took his shirt the rest of the way off before pulling Emily up to ever so slowly peel her shirt off. His eyes took in her beauty for a moment before he slowly slid down her bra straps one at a time, kissing her shoulder while he did so. Once her bra had been removed she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down on top of her, loving the way his hot, bare chest felt against her skin. His kisses were rougher as his desire for her surged through his body. He gently nibbled on her lower lip before he began trailing kisses from her ear down to the hollow of her neck where he gave her another nibble. He continued downward, licking the delicate skin in between her breasts before working his way to her nipple and capturing it in his mouth. Emily moaned loudly as he tugged on it with his teeth while his hands undid the fly of her jeans. He kissed down to her belly button and swirled his tongue around it while he pulled her pants down off her hips.

He sat up for a minute, just long enough to quickly pull off her pants and underwear before removing his own. When he climbed back on top of her his tongue went back to her belly button and worked it's way up to her other breast, teasing it with his tongue before biting it with his teeth. Her skin tasted so sweet that he couldn't get enough of her as he kissed and licked his way back up to her lips.

Emily could feel him pressing against her hip and not wanting to wait any longer she spread her legs, inviting him in. Randy kissed her deeply as he slowly entered her, taking his time, not wanting it to end. He moved in and out slowly at first, loving the way Emily's body trembled with every thrust he gave. Gradually he picked up the pace as Emily wrapped her legs around his waist. Randy couldn't hold back any longer and lost all control, going harder and deeper, his hand playing with her nipple. He held on long enough for Emily to come before he let go himself and rode her until their moans subsided. He lay down next to Emily and immediately pulled her into his arms and held her there, both of them falling asleep soon after.